Any hope of reconciliation?

[Khaljessi]

I'll try to summarize our relationship quickly:

-He's 34, an empath/highly (highly) sensitive person/ I'm a 32 year old widow.
-we dated/lived together for 3.5 years, he helped me heal from my fiancé loss and we formed a deep bond
-we both struggle with co-dependency, but his main issue is a generalized Anxiety disorder/possible Aspergers. He's a very negative, has routines he won't deviate from, and the outside world is the cause of his problems type of guy.

My reason for why our relationship didn't work:
-he works menial jobs and is miserable. This affects his self esteem and it broke our relationship because that's all we would talk about--how much his job sucks but how paralyzed by indecision he is to make any kind of change. It drained me and my own depression crept in.

His reason for why our relationship didn't work:
-I kept trying to leave him because I couldn't deal with the rut/negativity/lack of just LIVING. He feels he can't make me happy.


That being said, I broke up with him about 2 months ago, over the aforementioned issues. He got pissed and within the same weekend, started talking to one of his sisters attractive friends. Something in me flipped and I begged him to come back. He moved back in with his parents, as I had plans to do the same with my parents (our house had gotten too expensive anyway so this was the plan) he waffled for about a month between coming back to me or dating this girl. He wisely said we aren't good for each other right now and with nothing changed, I would be just as unhappy in a month. So they are now in a relationship. That started the weekend we broke up.

This new girl demanded him to unfriend me twice on facebook. Twice he did, but added me back after I told him how hurtful this was and how if he wanted to reconcile in the future, I would remember this. He called me crying about how he needs me in his life, I'm his best friend. He feels pulled in two directions (duh) He bawled to me about how hard this is and how he's never broken up with anyone but he can't take the emotional roller coaster of me trying to leave anymore.

Two weeks ago, he came over to sort through some stuff (I was still alone at the house) and said "most of him wants me to move on" and that while he would never shut the door on a reconciliation down the road he wants me to find someone who CAN make me happy. Up until this point I was a blubbering "we can still be friends right?!" kind of mess.

The next day, I unfriended him on facebook and went no-contact, telling him not to contact me unless it's about wrapping up the move. He seemed sad, and called me the next week. He said he noticed I unfriended him. He asked if him breaking up with me 'was the best thing that's ever happened' to me?

He said he can understand if I hate him but he hates the thought of losing me out of his life. I told him I don't hate him, but I need to cut him out of my life. He then said "I love you" to which I didn't respond. He said moving the rest of his stuff out of our house was excruciatingly painful and he was messed up for days and that he was working over there all week to get our deposit back.

I told him he lost someone who was willing to do anything to make it work. He replied "you ARE?"
Still no talk of taking me back though. He's still seeing this girl. Who is 7 years younger, and seems incredibly shallow. Every picture on her facebook is a selfie. Nothing of substance. Him and I had everything in common, I don't get it.

I know we're not a good fit right now. I just am hoping against hope that our paths cross again someday, when we're both a little wiser, and can give it one good try.

Fellas does this sound like a man who will eventually try to come back?

[hazey daisy]

Huh, you are right, you DO have codependency issues. You deserve someone better than this. He has too many things wrong with him...things you cannot fix, things that bring you down, make your self worth plummet.

Him coming back is not your answer. If you want to be a better person and feel good about yourselfain ag, find someone who is healthy happy ambitious, got their $%^& together, emotionally stable. You are missing out on a more rewarding relationship with someone else.