So a bit about me. I was a ward of the court. Retired Military and no family known about until a few years ago. I went through a nasty divorce. Was left with the choice of give up kids to an abusive person who was the ex's father and step mother or give them up to the closest family member on my side. I gave them up to my sister who lives in another country. My kids are cognitively disabled. They require full time management and it's impossible to raise them as a single parent who is also disabled. I suffer from traumatic brain injury.

My Ex lost custody of the children due to child abuse while I was deployed. 2+ years ago I met an awesome woman who is willing to put up with me and my quirks.We work really well together I proposed to her recently and she said yes. The problem is this.

I have explained to her family which is as follows:
her mother and her 2 brothers and her sister in law.

It's been horrible. The family has been giving me the cold shoulder and it's been really tough on the subject of my children. They can't comprehend why I didn't give them up to the grand father, Nor why I don't contact them and swear on everything I must be a criminal or did something really wrong in order to lose custody of my daughters and why don't I contact them more.

To boot, they worry about their daughters safety with me. As if I would ever do something to her. The only thing I have ever been and will ever be is kind to her and those around me. Being kind makes me happy. I have helped the family out on numerous occasions and tried my best to be a good person to them. I have made sure to tell my partner that I would never ask her to choose between me and them.

On multiple occassions I have had conflicts where I would say something and it would be slightly off or possibly inconsistant and the mother would phone her sons wife and say stuff about it. Which would get back to me and I would have to show documentation.

Recently, my partners bothers wife began playing games as far as I can tell. There was a family reunion. one of the people were staying over at my partners moms home. At this point. I was telling this person and my soon to be mother in law was in the room also. I told her how I was a ward of the court and not having known family in my country until a few years back. Being that I have brain damage and my memory has been failing I had requested documentation from a multitude of places. I came across new information about when I came to this country. My soon to be mother in law relayed the information to her daughter in law and soon the drama began. At first, her daughter in law began the whole process by contacting my fiance asking what my daughters names are and my fiance said that she should be contacting me to ask. She then said that the person at the house was wondering and how she had forgot, and she was too embarrassed to ask me directly. It turns out it was a lie. I asked the person and they had no idea what I was talking about.

Eventually what happened was a tug of war where the Daughter in law went back to the mother and at this point I grabbed my paperwork and showed my fiances mother that it was a simple mistake on dates and here is the proof.

At this point things began going down hill where the brothers wife began causing tons of distress. The woman contacts me eventually and says I fear for my kids around you because of your checkered past. No family, I have never met any of your friends, and frankly, you hide your friends list on facebook. Although, I have never done anything bad.

I invited her to come to the house with family in tow and to resolve this issue and get it put behind us. She doesn't take me up on my offer.

Today I talked with my fiances mom about some of the issues I have been dealing with the family and it basically boils down to me having a background check done. I told them I would do it, but afterwards I am out of the mothers life. I know the background check will come out clean. Not even remotely worried about that. I also know the background check wont even resolve anything with them. They made up their mind about me a long time ago.

It hurts. A lot. It hurts that I had to give up my daughters. It hurts that after everything I have ever done. I had had to deal with drama. To put things into perspective. The brothers wife suffered a horrible situation which led to her ex murdering someone and being thrown into jail. I feel for her. I really do. So I understand. but it seems like a witch hunt.

Any ideas what I should do involving the family and my fiances brothers wife?