Am I being unseronable

[Open]

My Girlfriend is going to Florida for the next two weeks and is getting a lift to the airport early in the morning from her mother which involves her staying at her parents’ house and traveling to the airport a 4:30am in the morning.

She’s wanting me to spend the night with her then they will drive me back to my house in the morning which will cost me about 1:30 hours sleep. I don’t want to go to her parents house as I’m working the next day and it’s needlessly complex.

Should I go or am I perfectly reasonable not going? She says she would do it for me but that’s not the point.

[TheEvilJester]

With the wide range of questions we get on this board, I have to be honest with you.... This one sort of feels like a "pick your battles" kind of situation. In other words, if this is sincerely your biggest problem, I think you are a pretty lucky dude. But, I'll give you my thoughts.

No. No, you are not being unreasonable. To me, that sounds like a lot of ridiculous complications just to get a few more hours with her when she's only leaving for two weeks. I mean, don't get me wrong... of course if I were you I would miss the Hell out of her for those two weeks.... but that's not the point. It's inconveniencing you, it's inconveniencing her parents, all just so you two can have a couple extra hours together?

I mean, all that said, I don't consider it unreasonable of her to ask. I think it is awesome if she cares that much about you that she wants to spend the extra time with you. I just don't see why she wouldn't understand if that was just too much hassle. I mean, it might be different if she were leaving for months or something like that, but two weeks will feel like it is over in no time. I don't mean to sound unromantic, but given how much this would be inconveniencing both you AND her parents (they're already driving her to the airport and now also have to drive you back home) it just makes so much more sense not to go to all that trouble.

....BUT

How important does it seem to be to her? You've heard the saying "happy wife, happy life," have you not? LOL! That applies to girlfriends too. That's kind of why I say "pick your battles." Yeah, it is a little silly of her to ask all that.... but how big a deal would it really be if you just live with missing out on the extra sleep for one night? So, if it seems like it is important to her, this might be one of those times when it is best just to do it to make her happy even if it may seem a little silly to you. Of course, that is as long as her parents are also okay with it, since that is requiring them to drive you back home.

So, I most definitely agree with you that it seems sort of silly and like a lot of hassle for such little benefit.... but this may be a time when it is best just to do what makes her happy.

[melancholia]

I agree you aren't being unreasonable. If she were leaving for several months, that would be a different story. But it's two weeks. You can spend time with her the day before, or sometime before she leaves and make that special.

[dontaskme]

I don't understand where you got the 1 1/2 hrs of sleep if she's not leaving until 4:30am.

Anyhow, would it really kill you if you only got 1.5 hrs of sleep in one night? You should be glad she'd rather spend the night with you than someone else.

[TheEvilJester]

Actually, that's not even exactly what he said. He said it would cost him an hour and a half of sleep. Not that 1.5 hrs is all he would get, but only that he'd be getting 1.5 hrs less.

So, again, hence why I lean towards calling this a case of "pick your battles" and that it may just be best to go with it to make her happy. Again, though, that is also as long as her parents are also okay with the situation. This would be requiring them to then have to give him a ride home on top of everything else, so you do have to consider them too.

Yes, I definitely agree it seems a little silly all things considered..... but how big of a deal is it really just to live with the inconvenience for one day? So, as much as I do agree that it would not be unreasonable to pass, I still think it is probably just better to do it for her anyway without even a complaint.

But, if you do decide it is just too much of a hassle for you, then just be respectful and understanding to her about it. Don't just come at her with an attitude of "that's stupid! I'm not inconveniencing myself like that." More so, IF that is what you decide, just tell her something like "I'll miss you terribly and we can text/call every day. But, I have work that day and I really need the sleep. So, If you are okay with it, I think it would just be better if we spend the day together and say goodbye when you head to your parents..."

That isn't necessarily what I'd recommend personally in this situation, but if you did decide that I would hope she would understand. I don't find that unreasonable of you. I definitely understand and agree with you. Still.... given that, in the grand scheme of things it isn't like it is THAT huge an inconvenience.... my personal recommendation would just be to do it and do it happily.

Good luck either way, though.