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Thread: Asking Out a Co-Worker?

  1. #1
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    Asking Out a Co-Worker?

    *If possible please take the time to read the details to get an understanding of the situation.*

    Hey guys, I am 22 Male she is 20-21 Female. Any opinions/point of views are great. There's a generalized portion and a detailed smaller portion to this. I'm just trying to get what you think and if you've had any similar experiences to this.
    I know every single situation is different and the amount of variables makes this almost impossible unless i find out for myself, but I am very serious and just interested in knowing how you feel.

    Details:

    I work for (kind of) a retail type of place. I currently just started transferring for a couple days a week to a different store location. I've been working just a couple days there and there are a ton of girls I work with, but this one stands out to me so much. I'm at the point where I really want a relationship, and this girl shows up, just happens to be one i work with here and there.

    At the kind of job I work, you basically walk in, it's very busy, everyone is doing their assigned job, and that's it. There's some time for chit chat inbetween but there's always the entire work crew basically right there. There's really no "oh, do you want to go on break with me?" because that's not possible at my job, 1 person takes break. There's no solitude place alone with her to talk to her at all like other jobs maybe, so its almost impossible to find a good time to talk to her alone.

    This particular girl i just really love her personality aside from her attractiveness of course. Again, there's tons of other girls there, but this one from the second i talked to her I would not mind spending time with her at all. I don't know if she's just trying to be nice to me or what kind of hints girls throw out and I know this is so subjective but... from what I can tell she always looks at me and always walks near me. She kind of shys away from me and you can just tell when the opportunity arrives she really wants to talk to me, hard to explain. She wants to look over at me every now and then, that's the feeling i get when i see her. Every time she talks to me about something she is so direct and always laughs (purposely or not i have no idea). She just acts differently than the other girls do and is so positive. Again, she could just be that professional, friendly and nice, or maybe there's a little of both that and she likes me. Every time i walk out when my shift is over and she's still there, she makes sure she goes out of her way to say bye to me (the other girls don't at all do that, AT ALL lol, they usually just pick their head up from what they're doing and say cyah or whatever) but this one I like always tries to quick talk to me on my way out and kind of makes sure she gets noticed. I don't really know what else to be looking for but it seems like she is either 1. just super nice and HELPFUL or 2. just tries her best for me to notice her and stand out to me?

    Again, i am completely aware of the situation and variables that go into this. I'm in no way shape or form sold on which side of the fence she is. But from the small amount of days I've been with her and what I can tell, she might have something there for me and so do i.

    What I mostly need answered:

    How should i go about doing this?
    Now the thing about workplace relationships, apparently she's leaving for a new place in a couple weeks. Should i wait to talk to her (really don't want to wait that long)? Should i just slip her a note with my number on it? Should i contact her on social media (i know that's wishy washy but I 100% don't condone talking to her about something like this with other workers around, lol). Like what's the best way to go about this, because this of course isn't a bar, this is work with people around constantly. I really, REALLY want to just talk to her face to face about it, but I am telling you from the bottom of my heart, i promise you, at this place there's virtually no way of getting a private minute with a person like that.

    Do you guys have any experiences with this or thoughts about a situation like this on a generalized scale along with some of the more detail oriented parts of it? Very much appreciated. Let me know if you have any questions.
    Last edited by Braytc; 12-08-16 at 01:43 AM.

  2. #2
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    hey,, i have the same experiences like you.
    i thought he like me too. i'm to afraid to ask about it, because i'm a girl and i don't want to ruin our friendship. unfortunately, my boss move him to another office that far far away from me. in another island. before he leaves, i said i love him. and guess what, he love me too.. he just afraid to say that too.. he don't want to ruin our friendship too.. damn! now, i'm trying to move on from him.
    so, maybe you can ask her out on date (maybe). see her reaction. or, you can contact her first, ask for her number. send her some message if she replies it quick or she looks happy with your message, maybe she likes you

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    I'd stay away from co-workers. It's a good way to get distracted and lose your job and if your job requires a lot from you like loving around stores, you say she's getting moved, it's not worth it because you could end up in Spain and her Germany.

    I personally wouldn't trust anyone who flirts with co-workers because it's a bit desperate but then again each work place is different. Saying bye to co-workers everyday isn't out of the ordinary either. I'd wait it out for a few months and see what happens.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dream_of_Waves View Post
    I'd stay away from co-workers. It's a good way to get distracted and lose your job and if your job requires a lot from you like loving around stores, you say she's getting moved, it's not worth it because you could end up in Spain and her Germany.

    I personally wouldn't trust anyone who flirts with co-workers because it's a bit desperate but then again each work place is different. Saying bye to co-workers everyday isn't out of the ordinary either. I'd wait it out for a few months and see what happens.
    No it's not on the scale you're talking about at all. Idk if i typed it wrong or what, she's not getting "moved" to another store, she's leaving the job and going to a new job, which is also locally because she also goes to school locally.
    It has nothing to do with my job really. If she says yes she says yes, if she says no she says no. The only thing i care about is how to at least ask her because of the OTHER workers constantly around us , that's what i'm trying to avoid like the plague.
    She doesn't flirt, you can't really "flirt" at my job, it just feels like she's very gravitated towards me is the best way of saying it.

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    If you want to get to know her, but you can't talk to her while you're at work, why not try talking to her after work? Ask her if she'd like to grab a coffee with you after work sometime. If she says yes, that's a good sign. If she says no, well that will suck but at least you'll know. If she's quitting, you may as well start getting to know her now, while you still work together and see each other often.
    "Caring is not an advantage."

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    Quote Originally Posted by melancholia View Post
    If you want to get to know her, but you can't talk to her while you're at work, why not try talking to her after work? Ask her if she'd like to grab a coffee with you after work sometime. If she says yes, that's a good sign. If she says no, well that will suck but at least you'll know. If she's quitting, you may as well start getting to know her now, while you still work together and see each other often.
    Nooo haha, that's what i WANT to do. the problem is you can't walk up to her and say "can we go _______ and get coffee" or whatever, you can't say that stuff infront of your workers lol. that's the whole problem here

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    Why not? You don't have to say it at work, say it after work or before work or something, away from your co-workers.
    "Caring is not an advantage."

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    Quote Originally Posted by melancholia View Post
    Why not? You don't have to say it at work, say it after work or before work or something, away from your co-workers.
    Yep, but again it's just not that kind of place. Nobody really leaves at the same time or comes in at the same time. At least the two of us don't. I'm at her place two times later next week, i'll see if i can get to her before or after a shift, but again it's really unlikely. Usually i come in at 9, leave at 5. She comes in at 1, leaves at 8. See what I mean? I want to talk to her, but there's just no window for that ever.

    I mean...should i maybe wait? If she leaves at 6 and i leave at 5, wait an hour? or longer lol. or is that weird.

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    The weirdest part of all of this is that you can't find two second in the day to ask her for a coffee after work. What's so inappropriate about that? You could wait for her if you leave before her but you're better off just asking her quietly at work.

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    Quote Originally Posted by melancholia View Post
    The weirdest part of all of this is that you can't find two second in the day to ask her for a coffee after work. What's so inappropriate about that? You could wait for her if you leave before her but you're better off just asking her quietly at work.
    The place where we were it's pretty quiet, there's a good 5-6 people at a time in the same small area. Anything you say or do everyone else can see or listen. If i pull her to the side, it's going to look so weird. and two seconds? we'd probably need a little longer than that lol. And it's not that anything is wrong with it, it's that the entire work place would feel weird.

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    Can you find her on Facebook and add her? Send her a message and ask her out if you can't ask her in person at work.

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    Quote Originally Posted by melancholia View Post
    Can you find her on Facebook and add her? Send her a message and ask her out if you can't ask her in person at work.
    yeah basically i'm trying to see next week if i get an opportunity TO ask her in person , i'll def ask her. But the big dilemma right now is what is better if all else fails, giving her a note with my number on my way out of work one day, or should i just message her on social media. And yeah i did find her on fb

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    I think giving her a note with your number on it or FB messaging her with your number are basically the same thing. Either way, those seem like your best options. Keep us posted! I'm invested now and dying to hear if she accepts a date with you lol.
    "Caring is not an advantage."

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    Quote Originally Posted by melancholia View Post
    I think giving her a note with your number on it or FB messaging her with your number are basically the same thing. Either way, those seem like your best options. Keep us posted! I'm invested now and dying to hear if she accepts a date with you lol.
    Thanks haha, will def do that.
    You know what i thought last night, do you think it would be cool.... this friday she leaves at 8 and i leave at 3pm before her. I'll leave and come back to the store and run over to her when she's on her way out? I thought that might go well

  15. #15
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    Give it a shot, see how it turns out!
    "Caring is not an advantage."

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