What should I do if I randomly see a good looking girl?

[alias23]

Hi, I'm 26 male, single. I never had much interest in dating or relationships since I never understood the meaning of it.. I had hobbies and I was busy. But now sometimes,when I'm walking by the sea, or walking on the street; I would see a girl who I think looks cute and looks about my age. I want to know what teh appropriate behavior is in this situation. Usually, I would continue walking on since I feel that I'm being shallow - just analyzing the outside right there and knowing nothing about her.
So is this the right thing to do - walk on, smile and accept that she looks good? I feel an emptiness in me since I haven't really found a peace with myself yet and perhaps it is better to have love and peace with oneself before seeking love with someone else?
I want to know your advice in this situation.

[AdminOnline]

Hello alias23, welcome aboard. Enjoy your visits.

[alias23]

thanks I joined sometime in the past, but I came back years later. I meant to post this in the Love Advice Forum! can it be moved?

[melancholia]

I would say yes - accept that she is attractive, smile at her, and keep walking. Appreciating that someone is beautiful is a natural thing, but you don't need to go up to every single woman you think is pretty and tell them that. Women get ogled at all the time and it's actually exhausting. If you want to meet a nice woman to date, I suggest meeting one through a class, group activity, online dating, or ask one of your friends to set you up with someone.

I do think it's important to be self-sufficient, independent and happy before you can really be in a committed relationship with another person; but you can work on improving yourself AND date at the same time. Part of dating is to get an idea of what you like and don't like in people, and what you want and don't want in a relationship. The only way to figure that out is to date a lot of different types of people.

[alias23]

I would say yes - accept that she is attractive, smile at her, and keep walking. Appreciating that someone is beautiful is a natural thing, but you don't need to go up to every single woman you think is pretty and tell them that. Women get ogled at all the time and it's actually exhausting. If you want to meet a nice woman to date, I suggest meeting one through a class, group activity, online dating, or ask one of your friends to set you up with someone.

I do think it's important to be self-sufficient, independent and happy before you can really be in a committed relationship with another person; but you can work on improving yourself AND date at the same time. Part of dating is to get an idea of what you like and don't like in people, and what you want and don't want in a relationship. The only way to figure that out is to date a lot of different types of people.

Thanks for advice, I appreciate it. Sometimes it is saddening to walk by a girl who is darn bloody cute, but I guess that's just the animal in me.. lol well thanks again for your advice, I'll accept that life is life.

[melancholia]

Yeah, I think in certain circumstances, introducing yourself to a cute women is ok. But if she's minding her own business, out in public, it's kinda lame to gawk at her and try to pick her up. Most women don't respond to that because we constantly get objectified by men and it sucks to deal with. Even if that's not your intention, it may come across that way and you might end up offending her more than complimenting her.

If you're out at a bar, or some other kind of social venue, where you can talk to a woman about more than just her appearance, you might have a better chance. But again, I'd recommend meeting women through other means, online dating would prob be your best bet.

[alias23]

Yeah, I think in certain circumstances, introducing yourself to a cute women is ok. But if she's minding her own business, out in public, it's kinda lame to gawk at her and try to pick her up. Most women don't respond to that because we constantly get objectified by men and it sucks to deal with. Even if that's not your intention, it may come across that way and you might end up offending her more than complimenting her.

If you're out at a bar, or some other kind of social venue, where you can talk to a woman about more than just her appearance, you might have a better chance. But again, I'd recommend meeting women through other means, online dating would prob be your best bet.

I agree, I think picking up women there on the spot because of their looks is lame and shallow. It just isn't in my interest to encourage this shallow perverted behavior that many guys seem to have. I even encountered some rare moments where a pretty girl stared at me with a horny look and I ignored it and walked on. It's not that I didn't have courage, It's that I simply wasn't interested. I am trying to "preserve my soul" in some way or another by trying to do the right thing (at least, what I believe is right). I was also thinking about cases when I see someone that I can obviously tell is my age, I think that at one of those moments I could possibly stop, introduce myself and ask if she would like to chat online sometime or something subtle like that. I think you can get to know someone more by chatting online and I also think it's better to attempt to befriend someone before thinking about dating them.

[melancholia]

Definitely try online dating if you think chatting online makes it easier to get to know someone. I think that would be your best bet for sure.

[alias23]

Definitely try online dating if you think chatting online makes it easier to get to know someone. I think that would be your best bet for sure.

Maybe I should, last time I didn't have a good experience with it (nobody wrote back to me), but I might try again sometime.

[pcmaster]

Dont agree with melancholia. She dont know what shes talking about since she didnt even know that girs dont respond on dating sites. You see girls get bombarded with messages there so they dont care about replying back unless your message or picture stands out. You would waste time trying to get replies from girls you like and getting replies from girls that no one likes. Even the worst girls there get a lot of messages from guys.

You better talk to those girls you see on a street. If you look at girl and shes good looking and looks back at you then its sure sign theres big posibility of constructive conversation. I like how experienced guys talk with stranger girls - even if they see that girl is on phone they will tell girl to put down the phone and it works, they actually often obey. So they can start a conversation.
Man its all about being socialy experienced. Experience will give you confidence and make you better with girls. You dont have to always talk with girls you find attractive, you can just say Hi ! or something and keep walking. Short interactions with random strangers will warm you up and you can get in God mode when its really easy to have a deeper conversation with unknown girl.
Theres a lot of pickup stuff on youtube if you are interested. You can search for infield videos of Sasha Daygame, SimplePickup, JulienRSD, TylerRSD, and so on. Those guys are great examples how one with confidence can have great few minutes with total strangers. And last suggestion is - dont think too much. Just do it and you will end up doing more than if you think first. So do first and think later.

[Arousingyourman]

Hi, I'm 26 male, single. I never had much interest in dating or relationships since I never understood the meaning of it.. I had hobbies and I was busy. But now sometimes,when I'm walking by the sea, or walking on the street; I would see a girl who I think looks cute and looks about my age. I want to know what teh appropriate behavior is in this situation. Usually, I would continue walking on since I feel that I'm being shallow - just analyzing the outside right there and knowing nothing about her.
So is this the right thing to do - walk on, smile and accept that she looks good? I feel an emptiness in me since I haven't really found a peace with myself yet and perhaps it is better to have love and peace with oneself before seeking love with someone else?
I want to know your advice in this situation.

Hi There. There's nothing wrong with "looking" and admiring the beauty in a person. Its healthy to be able to appreciate a good looking gal. I like your attitude of wanting to find peace before complicating your life or entering into a quick fling relationship.

You bet...Give Her a smile and perhaps a Hello. Later on you may consider [if you see her again] telling Her she is pretty.