Falling in love with my friend!!!

[Cali_Love]

I've had bfs and been into guys but about 10 years ago I met this girl and right when I saw her I felt something different inside of me. I didn't know what it was but I found a way to get her number and we became good friends, we spent everyday together, there were times when I felt like she liked me back but I know she likes boys. We got into fights (like a couple) and we stopped talking, she had a bf for a long time. Finally when they broke up I received a text from her letting me know that they broke up. I didn't like her as much as I did but when we started talking again I started falling for her again. Now i live 400 miles away from her and we are going to spend all next week together. My question is should I tell her how I feel?

[hazey daisy]

You could start the conversation with "Have you ever liked girls instead of boys?" "I have been dealing with these feelings for a girl and I'm so confused because this is new to me.... what do you think?." Hopefully you will get your answer whether she is strictly straight or not without embarrassing yourself and ruining a friendship.

[Cali_Love]

She asked me before if I liked her as more than a friend and I said no bcoz I wasn't sure why she was asking me. & we would always joke around about liking each other but she told me she doesn't like girls

[lovesickheart]

What a tough situation. if you don't ask, you'll always wonder. But if she's not into more than friendship, you take a chance of pushing her away. i think it comes down to how comfortable you are with risk. I think you should ask her why she asked you that before, tell her you've been curious what led her to ask. Then you ask her the same question and see what her answer is. If she says no, ask her if she's ever even been curious. If she still says no I would probably leave it alone. But she may be just as uncertain as you are about it.
Good luck!!!

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....and.... The fact that you've both always joked around about it makes me think she IS on the yes side of it.

[Cali_Love]

What a tough situation. if you don't ask, you'll always wonder. But if she's not into more than friendship, you take a chance of pushing her away. i think it comes down to how comfortable you are with risk. I think you should ask her why she asked you that before, tell her you've been curious what led her to ask. Then you ask her the same question and see what her answer is. If she says no, ask her if she's ever even been curious. If she still says no I would probably leave it alone. But she may be just as uncertain as you are about it.
Good luck!!!



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....and.... The fact that you've both always joked around about it makes me think she IS on the yes side of it.

Thanks for your reply. I need advice since I'm gonna see her next week. Idk if I'm over thinking it but sometimes the way she talks to me makes me feel like maybe she likes me too. If she's out with a guy friend she asks if I'm jealous, our friends tell us "you guys fight like a married couple our conversations look like

Me: I still love you
Her: I know I know
Me: (smiley face)
Her: you know I can't live without
Me: without who
Her: cmon I don't have to finish it

Am I overthinking this ? Does she like me too?

[lovesickheart]

You're not overthinking it. The heart wants what the heart wants. Listen to your instinct on when the right time to say something comes along. Wouldn't it be awesome if SHE said something first? Just be prepared for it to go either way. And please keep us posted here! I'm rooting for you!!

[Cali_Love]

Thanks, I will keep you posted.... We got in a fight & almost didn't go to this trip bcoz she said I sound like I don't even really want to go and she's looking forward to this trip.

[Cali_Love]

You're not overthinking it. The heart wants what the heart wants. Listen to your instinct on when the right time to say something comes along. Wouldn't it be awesome if SHE said something first? Just be prepared for it to go either way. And please keep us posted here! I'm rooting for you!!

We got in a really big fight and I'm thinking this is the best time to tell her how I feel since now I have nothing to lose. Please advise if I should tell her now or wait

[hazey daisy]

Just say "This is really hard for me what I'm about to say because I am so scared what you would say.....I haven't been truthful, and I think you already know that I like you more than a friend....and I hope you do too."

[Cali_Love]

Just say "This is really hard for me what I'm about to say because I am so scared what you would say.....I haven't been truthful, and I think you already know that I like you more than a friend....and I hope you do too."

Hello hazey_daisy thanks for your reply, I want to tell her in person I live 400 miles away from her. I'll see her in a month. But I made her listen to this song that's saying exactly how I feel

"Feeling used
But I'm
Still missing you
And I can't
See the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss
Against my lips
And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you"

But she only picked up on the "feeling used" part & said sorry if I feel used & I told her I don't feel used & told her to pay attention to the rest of the song & she told me
"I feel like it's your feelings telling me"
I think she gets it she's just in denial or idk but right now she's being more caring and nicer? I'm guessing this is a good sign.

[TheEvilJester]

I know what you want to say to her is very hard, so please don't misunderstand and think I'm trying to imply that it is easy. However, don't send her some song that expresses your feelings and then expect her to interpret that to tell you what you want to say. Her response is a good example of exactly why. She didn't interpret the message you were intending her to get. Nobody can breathe more truth into your words than you. You don't need a song to tell her how you feel. You know how you feel. You can tell her.

So, as difficult as it may be, you really just need to talk to her about it. Yes, it is possible it could hinder the friendship if she does not feel the same way. But, wouldn't you rather at least know? Otherwise, you'd just always have to wonder "what if?" Believe me, I know that is so much easier said than done, but it is definitely your best bet just to talk to her about it.

With that said.... I have to admit that I am personally concerned by how often you seem to be saying you two fight. You even said you very recently got into what you describe as "a really big fight." You two are already fighting as friends. I would personally recommend caution in pursuing a relationship with somebody in a situation like that. I mean, don't get me wrong. All couples fight now and then, but it certainly shouldn't be a regular feature of your relationship. It sounds like you two already fight fairly regularly as friends. If that is true, is that really going to be all that different if you two became more than friends?

And, heck, maybe I'm just misinterpreting/overreacting. That is entirely possible. Either way, though, if you do want to possibly pursue being more than friends with her, the only way you'll really ever know if she feels the same is by asking.

[hazey daisy]

That song is the worst.....it's so passive/aggressive. Grow some ballz and tell her how you feel...just get it over with.

[Cali_Love]

That song is the worst.....it's so passive/aggressive. Grow some ballz and tell her how you feel...just get it over with.

I will tell her once I see her