Is he interested in sex only?

[johanna1]

Hi everyone,

I have met someone on match.com and went our for our first initial date. The date was great....he seemed a nice guy, payed for the drinks, had great conversations and great physical attraction. At the end of the date he went for a small kiss. Since our first date, we have been texting a lot...every day, almost the entire day. We planned to go out again tomorrow. Now, from text to text and trying to learn about each other....we started to talk about sex, what we like, what we don't like until it led to sexting...(even though didn't sleep with him). Now, I told him I usually wait couple of dates until I become intimate with someone. He told me he is good with his hands and knows how to give a massage. I told him I would love a massage but now he is expecting me to have one tomorrow night . I told him I will wait on the massage and he kept pushing a little bit telling me that he can be a gentleman and respect my wish if I don't want to have sex tomorrow. He said a massage is a massage, that's it. I really don't believe him and I don;'t think I will trust myself to go because I know I will sleep with him. However, I think we have many things in common and we can develop into a nice relationship. I asked him if he is interested in a one night stand only and he said that if he wants that he can go to a bar and pick up a girl. So he reiterated that he wants a long-term relationship. Now, tomorrow I will play safe and go out for dinner or something. My question is: does he want to have sex with me only or he is actually interested in me? We talked a lot, favorite color, politics, weather, disasters, games, etc. I am afraid he will want me for sex only due to our sexting...I take responsibility that I led him into it and now I am not sure!!

Please advice!!!

[melancholia]

It's too soon to tell if he's into you for more than just a one night stand. Unless you sleep with him tomorrow night and then he never calls you back again, you won't know for sure. I think you should stop the sex talk for now, especially if he keeps nudging the idea. He says he is respectful of your wishes, yet he continues to push you ever so slightly, and that means he does not fully respect what you are telling him. Stop talking about sex with him. Change the conversation to something else, and see how that goes. And if you don't want to have sex with him, then don't! But if you change your mind and you do want to sleep with him, then go for it! But only if you really feel comfortable with that decision. Nobody should ever pressure you into doing something you don't want to do, and if the second date is too soon for you, then just say "no".

[Wakeup]

Listen, he's only taken you out once and now instead of taking you out again, in order to get to know you, he's offering you a massage which he knows, because you are so naïve, that you will end up having sex or blowing him or something. So: Why don't you ask him to do something with you outside of either of your homes instead of going for a massage?

You don't even know this guy and for all you do know, he could be married or have a girlfriend which of course, if he does have a girlfriend it means he only wants you for sex. Him steering the conversations towards sex so early, it pretty much tells you what he's after even if he is actually single. Don't expect to have a relationship with him just because you have sex with him... particularly so early in your introduction to one another. Get to know him and see if he has true intent about you. (doubtful)

Keep your interaction with him to outside and in public so that you're not fooling yourself or letting him fool you. If you do have sex with him, make sure it's at his house, if he'll he'll have sex with you there, its more likely he's not married at least.