Is this considered cheating?

[confused93]

My friends and one of my ex boyfriend who is still my friend tells me buying another male food to celebrate a birthday is not cheating but according to my current ex that is considered cheating. My friends told me if anyone considers buying a friend food is cheating that is a d*ck move for someone who considers it cheating. I mean its just food can friends go out to eat, is that a problem?

[Lynn81]

Of course friends can go out to eat that's absolutely observe, unless you're friend has feelings for you?!!

[confused93]

No he broke up with me because i brought someone food (it was fast food) and i offered to pay because it was his birthday. This guy is also my ex's friend.

[TheEvilJester]

I could see situations where somebody could reasonably be upset by that..... but what you describe is certainly NOT one of them. If he found out you took another guy out to some super romantic restaurant and paid... sure THAT I could see feeling like that is cheating.

You bought him some McDonald's or Burger King..... and even then only because it was his birthday..... Yeah.... that's called being a good friend. I mean, as Lynn said, unless there were other relevant circumstances. Like if this particular "friend" had feelings for you and you knew, or he is somebody for whom you used to have feelings.

All that said, if he didn't feel 100% okay with that, I personally could have understood that..... if he didn't act like a big huge alpha-male jerk, which is apparently exactly what he did. If, instead, he had simply had a reasonable conversation with you where he said "Look, I understand you didn't mean to do anything inappropriate. I'm even honestly sorry I feel this way, but it does bother me a little. Maybe I'm being silly, but it just feels inappropriate to me." Then, I may still personally think he's being silly, but I could at least understand and respect that. Then, I'd even advise you that maybe it is silly, but it means something to him and shouldn't really be such a big deal for you to comply to keep him happy.

Instead, he chose to overreact and dump you over something so immature and trivial. So, in my personal opinion, that is actually a blessing in disguise for you. Sounds like he took the liberty of removing a great big immature child from your life. You need to find a MAN, not a BOY. Maybe he can grow up and become that man, but if not, my personal advice would be to stay broken up with him. Good luck to you.

[melancholia]

It's not cheating. That is a form of manipulation brought to you by your current boyfriend. Clearly he has jealousy and control issues because that is so pathetic it's not even funny. This is a HUGE red flag that suggests he is probably not the right guy for you. Being with someone who acts like that is going to suck all your energy from you; and you deserve to be with someone who's more level headed and has a normal, healthy outlook on relationships.

[TheEvilJester]

Agreed. If you stayed with the fella, how long until he's accusing you of cheating every time another male human being just happens to pass by your field of vision?