When a woman tells a man...

[Artemisia]

We're both married. We work together in the same firm spending a lot of time with each other. Despite not wanting to cheat on my husband nor he on his wife, we started flirting and talking a lot. The chemistry and attraction are obviously there and it got worse and worse. Until we started saying it openly, how we're both attracted to each other... Nothing has happened between us but he's asked me on several occasions to be more upfront and aggressive with him... saying I should just 'go out and get him'... He's also jokingly proposed we rent a hotel room to spend a couple of hours together... Which I havent done as I'ld like to get to know him a little more gradually. I've recently told him that I'ld like to be kissed first and made him understand that I really want to go down on him... This suprised him and he basically backed out... Was I too explicit? Did I scare him? Should I try to clarify what I meant? I would never have said something so direct if he hadnt asked me to be more direct! Please advise on what to do now... I truly care about him.

[pcmaster]

If he backed off maybe he wasnt that serious. Just joking and having a fun with a work colleague. Maybe his wife is all he needs and work is just a distraction from reality to him.
But yeah you should talk to him about it. What he meant with being more direct? Looks like he just chickened out after how serious you was.

Besides you are married. Dont do this to your husband and dont do this to his wife. Have some morals woman !

[breathe123]

If you are both married, him cooling off is a blessing. Don't be a cheater, karma isn't kind to them ~ & you both work together which makes it all even more sticky.