Is it possible to mess up your chances with the right guy?

[giggik]

I recently went on a first date with a guy that is seems so awesome. He's funny, sweet, handsome and fun. I think he had a great time with me and even texted me after the date saying that he had a blast. I said I had an awesome time with him.

After the date was over, I was feeling tipsy, and texted him something that I later regret very much. Basically, he touched my butt a couple times during our first date, and I felt like maybe it's because he might just want to hookup or something. I then texted him that stupid text saying basically that I noticed he touched my butt and telling him that if he just wants a hookup, he will not find it from me. He responded respectfully and said he totally understood where I was coming from and that he was sorry and that he is too, in fact, looking for more than just a hookup.

The date was Saturday, and he hasn't spoken to me since. In hindsight, and with a sober mind, I realized that he wasn't looking for a hookup, but was just a nice guy that was kinda clueless about first date etiquette. I feel so mortified and have been beating myself up for the past 5 days about what I did. It's not everyday that I find a guy that I like enough to date, and to think that I blew it with this guy makes me so infuriated at myself. I feel like maybe this could have turned into something so beautiful.

So my question is: can you truly mess up your chances with being with the right guy? If you are meant to be with this person could you still ruin your chances?

[pcmaster]

Yes you can mess up the chance of finding your soulmate. But it dont mean you have to give up cause when its ment to be there are second chances with the same person. If he liked you too he will respond if you contact him again.

[TheEvilJester]

I'll pretty much echo pcmaster here. Sure, you certainly CAN mess up with somebody even if they seem so right for you..... However, I don't think I'd say you did here. I can't see why that would have been enough of an offense for him to lose interest. Frankly, if it is enough then he probably wasn't worth your effort anyway.

Did he know you were a bit tipsy? If he did, then I am sure he just chalked it up to being that. Like I said, though, I think it is most likely that he probably thought nothing of it.

All that said, if it doesn't work out with him, that does NOT mean you messed up your chance with your soulmate.... it means he was not your soulmate. I do believe in romance, in romantic love (I may not believe it exists for me, but I believe it exists). However, there is not just one perfect somebody out there for everybody, because there are many people who could be our "one perfect someone." I don't mean that to devalue a relationship when you do think you've found the right one for you. I don't mean that to sound like that is so expandable. I'm just saying, if it doesn't work out with one person, that just means there is somebody else out there looking for you.

Good luck!

[lovesickheart]

Giggik, did you ever text him back after he replied to you?
If you didn't, he may be sitting there thinking HE messed it all up?!
If on the other hand, you did text him back and he didn't respond, well, that's different.....

[TheEvilJester]

I don't mean that to sound like that is so expandable.

ARGH! Ever want to go back in time and punch yourself in the face for your own typos.... or am I the only one who is that needlessly harsh on myself? LOL! That was supposed to say "expendable." As in, easily abandoned/tossed aside/replaced/flying donkey. Well... okay. Maybe not so much the flying donkey part.

Anyways, there was an actual point to this rather than just me beating myself up. LOL!

I agree with lovesick's point above. I hadn't thought of that myself. If he hasn't reached out to you, there is no harm in you just doing so yourself. Again, in all likelihood, you probably are just worrying yourself over nothing. But, even if it turns out your concerns are true, wouldn't you at least be better off knowing that rather than to keep wondering? The only way to find out is by talking to him.

I wouldn't say you actually ask him about it. If he doesn't bring it up, I would say don't bring it up either. Just act like it never happened and continue as you normally would. Maybe just a very brief, sort of in passing "Sorry if I said anything kinda crazy the other day. I was a bit tipsy," and then just leave it on that. No specifics, no elaboration, no complicated and involved voodoo rituals meant to resurrect the dead to be your minions. (Leave that to me. :-P )

Good luck to you. I hope it goes well.