Hoping he will call

[Irene123]

I sent a Christmas card to the neighbor that I was flirting with. He seemed interested but, I shied away a couple of times. He is on the quiet side and seems kinda shy around me. Ion the card I gave him my phone numbers and told him to call me if he wanted to go out. I saw him after and he seemed to have liked the card and seemed interested again. No phone call yet. I hoping he is just busy because of the holidays. Opinions?

[Cerby]

Call him, take the initiative! He may just be shy too.

[benfletcher82]

If he's shy, then maybe he's not sure about how soon is too soon to call. Maybe give him a call instead and ask him directly if he wants to go out on a date.

[drleo]

you know he is shy, take a move and call him, ask him out and don't let his shyness over take you as he will answer you with shyness

[topazlight]

Let him call you, you stepped out of your comfort levels and reached out and said call me and gave your phone numbers, I would say it is his turn to step out of his comfort levels now too.

[Wakeup]

Seriously! How many times are YOU suppose to reach out? You gave him a solid green light that you were interested in him. If he doesn't call you knowing that you are a sure thing, then I'd say that he's not really all that interested.

Wait to see what happens after the holidays are over and stop having any expectations regarding him. If he calls, great. If he doesn't that's fine too. Just get on with your life not even giving him another thought.

Good on you for being brave and putting yourself on the line.

[Irene123]

This is the last move I make. If he doesn't make a move I am done. At least I can say I tried.

[TheEvilJester]

Hindsight is always 20/20, but I will say this....

I think if you wanted to maybe go out with him, it probably would have been better just to ask him out. I mean, I know that is basically what you DID, but my point being probably better just to have asked him out directly rather than put it in a Christmas card. Maybe that is just me, but you were already taking the initiative to ask him first, why not just actually ask him out?

That said, I personally am leaning towards agreeing with the folks saying that you made your move and the ball is now in his court. You seem to be getting two very different camps here. Being an extremely shy fella myself, I can understand the folks above thinking that maybe you should just try reach out to him. The thing is, it isn't like you left any ambiguity here. You didn't leave him your phone number with a note saying "we should chat some time" which a shy fella like him or myself might over-think and over-analyze that and convince ourselves you meant that as a friend and not as a date.

Unless I am just misinterpreting what you implied you wrote in the card, it sounds to me like you basically asked him to call you if he'd like to go on a date. As shy as I am, if a gal ever had or ever does give me such a clear sign as to actually ASK ME out, I'd jump at the chance. I'm not saying it is easy. I'd probably still be a nervous wreck. LOL! But, if a gal all but asked me out, how could I over-analyze that into thinking it was meant only as a friend?

So, to be honest, I lean towards the camp saying you made your move and either he makes his or you move on. Like Wakeup said, just how many times should YOU be the one reaching out first before you just move on? Even if he DOES like you and has just been too shy to ask you out.... do you really want to be dragging him every step of the way into the relationship. Believe me, I do feel for the fella. I understand what it is like to be ridiculously shy. Still, there comes a time and place where you have to take a chance. If he can't even bring himself to ask you out when you've made it pretty clear you are interested, then either he isn't interested or maybe he'll drag his feet in every aspect of the relationship should he ever actually take that chance. In either case, probably just better for you to move on. But, maybe that is just me.

Good luck to you either way.

[Irene123]

I am done making any moves. It is up to him and it seems like he doesn't want to.

[TheEvilJester]

Eh, well then his loss. Good for you for being done. Move on and find yourself some other fella who will actually wake the heck up an make a move already. Heck, hopefully next time you won't even have to be the one dropping all the hints. Good luck!

[topazlight]

[MENTION=80823]Irene123[/MENTION] I agree, you made a good effort and now perhaps venture elsewhere using your new found courage and ask out a guy who can return the effort and interest. Good luck.

[jimisss]

Probably he's insecure and shy... overthinking if it's too soon, what will the reaction be... doubting if you are really interested etc (been in that shoes for a long time)

Take the initiative if you want something more... letting him make the decision could end up in waiting for a long time.

Call him, and tell him that you would really like to know him better, and would like to know if he would like it too...

Wish you a good luck

[Irene123]

I am just going to wait and see what happens. I feel like if I call him, that is being too pushy on my part. I thought before that he changed his mind about me then the next time I saw him , a fair amount of time between the two times he still showed interest. Don't get me wrong I am not sitting around waiting or holding my breath on it.

[TheEvilJester]

I would say your best bet is to just move on and forget him as an option. If you'd like, you can still consider the door open, though, so to speak. That is entirely up to you. In other words, if he were to suddenly finally wake the heck up and decide to take a chance, it would be up to you if you'd like to actually give him another chance. I certainly couldn't blame you if you felt like he HAD his chance and let it pass.

Either way, though, you are exactly right. Don't hold your breath expecting him to do anything. Instead, look for your match elsewhere. Heck, if you wind up in a relationship with some other guy and he decides, too late, that he wants to take a chance then that is his loss. Good luck to you.

[Irene123]

Definitely moving on. Although it is hard to get him out of my head. I keep thinking about him. But, I am tired of doing the chasing. And what do I get out of it anxiety and stress. Saw him the other day I think he was waiting for a wave from me first but I could not do it. I should not have to be the only one trying. I know it sounds selfish but, I would like to get some response from him without me going first.