Finally actually considering a threesome (2 girls, 1 guy) but am unsure of boundaries

[tarapaine]

After a week of my bf insisting and nagging, I have finally agreed to try a threesome with him. It will be with his best friend since childhood, so we both know him well and are all friends. The problem is that I have absolutely no experience with this, so I don't really know what is considered appropriate and inappropriate here. Does anyone have any experience with this sort of thing?

My main concern is that my bf will get jealous. He already is, hence this threesome in the first place. I don't think he really wants to do it, but his friend and I are physically attracted to each other and he thinks I'm going to end up having sex with him anyway, and he doesn't want anything going on behind his back. I'm afraid that if I end up really enjoying being with his friend, and I show it (which I probably will), he is only going to end up being more jealous. I'm wondering how much to balance things between the two of them. Like should I try to be 50-50, or should I make sure to give my bf more time, like 70-30 or something? Or should I just wait and try to pick up on cues and follow my bf's lead? And what kind of things should I feel comfortable doing, or should I also just wait for them to guide me?

We're planning on doing it sometime this week, depending on our schedules, so I need some advice quick. I'm getting really nervous and scared about it. I actually think it's a stupid idea and don't really want to do it, but I am VERY physically attracted to this friend and so I'm really afraid of what might happen, and the kind of impression it will leave on my bf.

[basilandthyme]

Oh jeez, this is a disaster in the making. I'm not judging on an idea of a threesome - each to his own. But a threesome where two are attracted and the boyfriend is already jealous is just crazy.

The most important boundary with a threesome is making sure that each participant is doing it for the right reasons. This includes believing that it's a good idea and not being pressured by someone else. The fact that you don't think it's a good idea and have been pressured straight up mean that it's wrong.

You would be best to look at the issue of being attracted to the mate. Either end it with the mate or end it with your boyfriend. But don't do this.

[smarta$$]

My crystal ball says this will not end well.

[lightstar]

I agree this will end badly

[topazlight]

No, I suggest do not do this with his childhood best friend, that is a red flag of oddity to me. Why would he ever want his best friend to be with you? No not with his best childhood friend, tell him no to that part.

[nheeya]

Its safer to do it with someone you both don't know, like a stranger. In that way no risk of falling or getting attach to the "object". Do not complicate things with your boyfriend. You feeling something for his bestfriend is already cheating in your thoughts, and you know its not fair for your boyfriend right now. If you're not sure of your feelings for your boyfriend anymore then tell him straight.

[tarapaine]

I hear what all of you are saying, and I agree. I also have my doubts about this. The problem is that it is going to end if I DON'T do it. My bf has already told me I can forget about him marrying me unless I do this. He's convinced I'm going to have sex with this guy anyway (although this is a bunch of BS) and he says that this is the only way to resolve this "peacefully" as he put it.

So, since I really have no other options, I've decided to just give in to my bf and just do it. I know it might not end well but tbh at this point I'm just tired of listening to him whine about it. I just want to do it right so that it DOES end well, so I came here for advice. I guess that was really stupid on my part since most people don't do that kind of stuff, but this is something I'm too embarrassed to talk about with anyone I know, so I figured I'd at least ask here.

But thx anyways for all of your input. I'll post an update later if I feel comfortable doing that.

[Wakeup]

Finally actually considering a threesome (2 girls, 1 guy) but am unsure of boundaries

Why did you say your threesome would be with two girls/one guy when it's two guys/one girl you are on about in your subsequent posts?

... Things that make you go "hmmmmm?"

[Lilly328]

I agree it won't end well. Also if you guys ever break up because of this, it's his fault too for suggesting it. Good luck. No one can force you to do things you don't want to.
My guy is reading also and is like "wtf did I just read" :/ he don't think you should do anything against your will too.

[Wakeup]

Oh... don't you and your boyfriend "worry" She soooooo wants to fvck her bf's friend.

... Still wondering why you said two girls when it's going to be two guys who bang away at you, tara.

[tarapaine]

Sorry. Typo. I meant 2 guys, one girl.

Actually, lilly, I think that if we end up breaking up it will mostly ALL his fault. He is acting stupid and insecure.

[melancholia]

I do not have any experience with threesomes, so I can't comment from my own experience. People I know have tried it and the comments vary. Some people say it was fun, but only something they would do while single. I've heard a few people say they regret doing it while in a relationship, but only because one (or both) of them didn't really want to do it in the first place. If you are interested in trying it out to enhance your sex life - go for it. But if you think it will fix the problems in your relationships - you've got to be kidding yourself. OP, you said your boyfriend doesn't really want a threesome, but he thinks it's inevitable that you will hook up with his best friend, so he thinks it's a good idea for you to get it out of your system with him in the room? Plus, you are having reservations and said yourself that you don't really want to do this - so why would you do it at all?

I think you and your partner should take a long hard look at your relationship. Take a look at where you started, where you've been, where you are now; and then look at where you want to be. It's important that you work through your problems within your relationship straight on. Don't try and fix them by having sex with another person. Even if it's a consensual three way situation, it doesn't sound like you're having fun thinking about it, so I would suggest you hold off on the threesome.

[lightstar]

and what does the friends gf have to say about this??

[Lilly328]

[MENTION=52694]Wakeup[/MENTION]. He's still in wtf mode reading the other post from her.
Anyway, i was wondering about the girlfriend thought also on this. She joining in? :/

[tarapaine]

His gf broke up with him, that's why it's a threesome now. Before that, my bf was insisting on a foursome.

We're supposed to do this Friday, and I'm getting more and more afraid/excited about it. I have so many butterflies in my stomach!

Of course, I could still see myself chickening out, but at this point there's really no turning back. I already agreed to do it. I even promised.

My main fear at this point is that it will backfire, and instead of helping "us" to get over this, it will only make him more jealous. I really don't understand why my bf thinks this is going to improve things. He says I need to "follow through" on my fantasy rather than suppressing it, even tho I have never ONCE fantasized about having sex with this friend. Thought crossed my mind? Sure, he is a very attractive man. But fantasize? Never. I don't get why he can't understand the difference between harmless fantasizing and flirting, and actually wanting to CHEAT. But whatever. I will do whatever he asks if that's really what he says he wants.