Help Me Be More Positive?

[treehugger101]

My Boyfriend kept going on and on earlier tonight, about him needing to be more positive, because he's been thinking negativity and his friends are noticing this. He asks me to help hink think and be more positive. How can I make him positive? I don't know what to do or what to say. If he's thinking negative thats his issue. But then he goes on because he knows I am always negative about everything and that's bringing him down etc. So how can I be more positive and have him be positive?

[TheEvilJester]

First off, you can't make somebody else be more positive, nor can you necessarily really help them be more positive. That is a battle one needs to fight on their own. He's either going to get over that and stop being so negative, or he's not. You can't, nor should you be expected to, do anything to change that in him.

Now, that said, if you honestly feel you have a problem with negativity as well, then you can certainly help him BY PROXY simply by forging your own battle within yourself. For that matter, regardless of him, you should fight that battle if it is a battle you need to fight. So, if you too suffer from being too negative, then you honestly owe it to your own self to work on that anyway. Hopefully that could help him if you lead by example, but honestly, you need to want more positivity for your own self regardless of anybody else in your life. Why should you suffer from being a negative person, not to mention the effect it has on others around you?

You can certainly support his efforts, though, if you want and feel you have the power to do so. It's just, he can't blame his own negativity on you. He needs to deal with his own issues. He's an adult (I assume). He needs to deal with his own issues, and if he feels that you are part of the cause of that, then he needs to either work with you on how you can both work to fix that, or he needs to let you go. He can't just put it on you to fix him.

[treehugger101]

Yeah I know. I tried telling him that.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, you tried and that is all anybody could ask. If you do feel you have your own work to do on yourself, then just focus on that. Focus on finding ways to make yourself more positive and find your own happiness. Hopefully your example can help him to find his way out of this negative spiral of his, but if not then perhaps that needs to cease to be your problem. That would have to be up to you, though.

Good luck to you both.

[treehugger101]

Thanks, I am more happy and so is he so all is well between us and we are both really happy.

[nheeya]

All depression can be cured with positive thinking and praying. But you should start it with yourself before you can help your boyfriend. Good Luck

[SuperHappyTime1]

It's all about being realistic, celebrating the good things, and be an amnesiac
Say your team loses a game, you could:
-Throw a coniption fit, chuck the remote through the TV, and burn the house down
-Be realistic, that your team had no chance.
-Be happy you team had a chance at winning the game late
-Be happy with the few outstanding plays you had.
-Be realistic and happy with how well your team played.
-Put the game out of your mind. There's next week/year, and the team will have learned from those mistakes. (And you still have a tv and house)

Also, it may help to find ways to release stress (excersizing, hobbies, or drugs... Help. Food may help, but usually makes you fat too.

[TheEvilJester]

Glad to hear things are going well right now. I hope that continues to be the case, and if it does then that is awesome! Still, please don't lose sight of one important fact.... If things keep getting really bad, then are suddenly great for a while..... only to get really bad again, then obviously something has to change. Please don't let your guard down to the point where you just think everything is A-Okay and you just forget all about it. Hopefully in time every proves to be okay and there is no further cause for concern. I hope that is the case, but if problems do keep popping up, then you really need to either work on them or decide to call it quits. I hope, though, that you don't even have to worry about that. Good luck to you both.