Well, so much for love.....

[basilandthyme]

At this point, I just want it to end. I don't want to get better. I'm kind of bitter about living a "good life". It pains me to know that I'd require professional help to get there when everyone else is apparently good enough to have it without trying.

Oh for Fcks sake! You think *everyone else* is able to get a good life without trying?

If this were true, there would be no need for counsellors, psychologists and psychiatry. It's one thing to enjoy your own pity party, but it's another thing altogether to reject the journeys and hard work which many other people have had to do in order to function well in society.

Pull your head out of your arse and show a bit of respect to others who've had it tough.

[Wakeup]

I'd rather be there than where I'm at now.

*sniffs* I smell troll.

[solarion]

He sure loves the attention...that's for certain.

[dontaskme]

Hmmm... He should hook up with Rose, they're like a match made in heaven, lol

[solarion]

^^^ Mean! lol

That may actually be a fate worse than banishment to Syria. Run OP RUN!

[tampitump]

The word "troll" needs to be outlawed. Not sure I even know the meaning but people throw it around a lot.

I tried joining the military when I was 21. They wouldn't take me due to a medical condition.

If venting anonymously online is an unacceptable way to deal with my pain then I apologize. I don't bring my problems up to my friends or family because they just wouldn't understand and I think it would make things weird. You guys do NOT have to reply to my posts.

[dontaskme]

You're nothing but a fukcing whiner. Why don't you voluntarily check in into a mental institution so you can have a better appreciation of what depression really is like once you see what people your age or even younger in there went through their lives (abuse, rape, addiction, etc). That will show you that you are being a chickenshit for no reason!

[basilandthyme]

If venting anonymously online is an unacceptable way to deal with my pain then I apologize. I don't bring my problems up to my friends or family because they just wouldn't understand and I think it would make things weird. You guys do NOT have to reply to my posts.

Venting about yourself is one thing. But belitting the efforts of all those other people who have done a lot of work on themselves is unacceptable. Frankly, if you did that in person, I'd probably be putting a hand up to your face and saying "Just stop".

[Weenie_Hut_Jr]

Out of curiosity, I took a read through this thread (all 9 pages, yes!). Initially, I sympathized with OP, as I was in a similar position myself for a fair while up until fairly recently. I believe one of [MENTION=76442]dontaskme[/MENTION]'s post has hit it pretty well in a way.

Then make good use of yourself and join the military. I'm sure you'll be in for a rude awakening.

Reading this, OP, I think you should try out the military. I joined up partly because I was not happy with who I was (though had a long list of other reasons, some more important).

It did a great deal of opening my eyes wide. Ultimately, I ended up leaving as I couldn't get along with certain people no matter what I tried and realized that at the pace it was going I was going to be ostracized, but it taught me a lot about myself. One thing I learnt from there is that once you have a set goal, go all out as much as you can. Do not let your past life affect you as you go. Do not turn back to it. Other important things of life I learnt there is to make use of time as much as you can. Time is an absolutely priceless treasure.

Pardon me for being very blunt, but you are wasting it horribly by ranting and seeking attention here, OP.

Heck, before I went, I was basically a loser myself who dropped out of college/uni and got rejected from the design school I wanted to get in, barely able to hold a job longer than a month and had an almost non-existent social life (if any). On top of it, I was absolutely detested by girls - up to the point that talking to one absolutely terrified me, and even failed school assignments that involved group work. Heck, I couldn't even make any new friends!

It wouldn't be an over-exaggeration to say that I almost thought I was seeing my past self in your posts here.

Those seven weeks however, were probably the most impacting to me. I didn't make it to the end, but now, I actually know what I want to be, am much, much more confident, self-disciplined and motivated in doing something with my life than I was before going in, no longer socially awkward (well, mostly) and no longer sulking about my miseries. Hell, I'm even planning to go back in as a reservist (though this is also so I can make up more time for another career I want to take).

I highly suggest you try looking into the military. If active-duty doesn't appeal to you, try out the reserves! You'll be amazed at how much changes you go through, and realize how much potential in you has been locked in for so long.

[TheEvilJester]

It seems you are currently unwilling and unable to seek help, and unable to help yourself out of this current state. Trust me, I understand the feeling so there is absolutely no judgment on my part. We've all tried to offer helpful advice and kind thoughts. But, we are just strangers, and I don't believe any of us here are professional therapists.

It seems like seeking the help of a professional would be the only way you could begin to see your way out of this terrible cycle.

Believe me, I know how you feel. I understand feeling so p*$$ed off and hopeless because it seems like everything in life comes SO easy to everybody else, yet despite all your best efforts you are never able to make any progress.

The thing is, it only SEEMS like everything comes so easy to everybody else. Really, everybody suffers through the same crap, the same rejection, the same hard times now and then. It's just a matter of learning from your mistakes and growing stronger.

I understand that is really hard in the position you are in right now. I understand that, right now, you feel too lost to motivate yourself to try to break through the storm clouds. So, I get that nothing any of us can say will help right now. I do, though, sincerely hope that some day you do get sick of feeling this way, and realize that you DO deserve better. I hope you find the same motivation in yourself that I, too, never thought I could find to finally say enough is enough. To finally start trying to fight for yourself.

Right now, you can't see through to that, and I get that. So, if nothing else, hopefully being able to vent here at least helps you out a little. Good luck to you.

[tampitump]

You're nothing but a fukcing whiner. Why don't you voluntarily check in into a mental institution so you can have a better appreciation of what depression really is like once you see what people your age or even younger in there went through their lives (abuse, rape, addiction, etc). That will show you that you are being a chickenshit for no reason!

I'm a ****ing whiner? Okay, well I've never spoken about my issues to anyone until now. All I wanted to do was use this god damn thread to vent! I probably said at least three god damn times that no one had to respond! You fukcing dumb ass!

[Wakeup]

This isn't a Journal. Perhaps you'd do better to go to a site that will allow you to vent without interruption? Hell, maybe a personal, hand written diary would be better suited?

[topazlight]

This thread is very long so I just went through some first page comments and this last page of comments. You said you've accepted your fate, so maybe focus on career and not love prospects as to build up your life in other ways and areas for more fulfillment.

I posted in a thread in a section called Off Topics called Random Thoughts I am positive you can use that thread as a venting thread for your own thoughts, no? Just a suggestion for you if you do not like others replying back.

[dontaskme]

I'm a ****ing whiner? Okay, well I've never spoken about my issues to anyone until now. All I wanted to do was use this god damn thread to vent! I probably said at least three god damn times that no one had to respond! You fukcing dumb ass!

Hey little whiney, you want to vent, do it somewhere you don't have to sound like a prick and loser! Fukchead!

- - - Updated - - -

Go to a depression forum where you belong.

[tampitump]

Hey little whiney, you want to vent, do it somewhere you don't have to sound like a prick and loser! Fukchead!

- - - Updated - - -

Go to a depression forum where you belong.

Go to hell