Well, so much for love.....

[tampitump]

PM it to me. I'll give you some suggestions for a makeover if it turns out I think you need it.

I'm afraid I can't do that.

[Wakeup]

Chicken!? I think you "can't" do it because you are a long time member here who has rejoined under a different screen name? Yes? No?

If you're not, I'd like to introduce you to him so the two of you can be negative and miserable together... I'd be more fun to have someone to validate your feelings of doom and failure.

[tampitump]

Wrong! I'm a new member. I can't do it because I don't like to fling out pics of myself on the internet. Simple as that.

[dollhouse]

I like how he only bypassed my reply... are you thinking of that Peter something guy, Wakeup? if so I can see similarities.

[tampitump]

I like how he only bypassed my reply... are you thinking of that Peter something guy, Wakeup? if so I can see similarities.

I'm not anyone y'all are talking about. But y'all CAN however go get bent! I'm gone, won't be back. Bye.

[TheEvilJester]

Here, I thought perhaps she was referring to me. LOL! If it was me she meant, I can confirm I am not, in fact, tampitump. I am also, in fact, not Batman..... however you've never seen me and Batman in the same place at the same time.... food for thought. :-P

Anyway, tampitump, "Lighten up" would be a huge over-simplification of what I said and would actually be a misrepresentation of my point. I would NEVER boil my advice in a situation like this down to "lighten up" because that belittles your situation. I would never do that considering I've suffered through much of the same myself. I know words really can only do so much to help. Unfortunately, the thing is there really is not much of anything any of us can do or say other than to provide our heart-felt thoughts and advice. This is one of those battles that will have to be fought and won internally.

Trust me, I know from experience. If there were some simple solution, believe me, I'd share it with you in a heart beat. Really, the only thing you can do is to keep trying. To do whatever works for you to gain some confidence. Chip away at it little by little. Sometimes it will get to be too much and then you owe it to yourself to take a little break here and there. But, as much as you can fight it, don't ever give up.

Believe me, I know this all just sounds like words. I know that from experience. It's just, it is really the only way. Of course, that said, there is never anything wrong with a little self-improvement if you feel like that is what you want, and could help. Maybe giving yourself a sort of make-over, new hair, new clothes, etc. could help. If nothing else, it could at least help your confidence. The most important thing in that, though, is not to change who you are. You don't want to pick a style (hair, clothing, etc.) that isn't you. It should just be a version of you.

I've actually been considering that myself. Getting a new, more polished alternate wardrobe that is still me, but kind of like Me 2.0. I wouldn't get rid of the way I dress now, but it would just be a more polished version of me for when the situation allows. I just don't know much about fashion, so I have no clue how to even begin to do that.

Anyway, good luck to you either way. Believe me, I know it isn't an easy battle. I know this is so much easier said than done, but it is worth the effort if the end result is finding that special someone.

[tampitump]

Thanks for that message TheEvilJester. I wasn't going to come back, but I'm only replying to you.

I've tried everything from nice clothes to nice stylish haircuts to renewed confidence. It's never worked for me. I've always had to do things alone because no one wanted to be with me. I guess this is the human form of natural selection. Don't physically kill the genetically inferior and undesirable, just exclude them, deny their existence, ostracize and bully them until they kill themselves.

[TheEvilJester]

I know how you feel. Sometimes it just gets so exhausting. I've been there too, and am honestly fighting and clawing not to fall back there again right now. I've been in that same place, making all these positive changes, learning to be happy just within myself, learning to be more confident, more open, more outgoing...... then it leads to nothing and just causes me to wonder why the Hell I bother. I am lucky in one regard, which is that I am a survivor. No matter how much I may want to give up, give up on trying, on people, on life.... I can't. It just isn't in me to give up. To be honest.... I'm actually not sure how lucky that is because sometimes I can't help but wonder if it would be so much easier just to give up once and for all. But, since I can't, I fight on, I endure, I survive. I always come back stronger than ever..... but the thing is I always wind up feeling like it leads to nothing. What is the point of me constantly being torn to shreds, just to come back stronger than ever before.... just for it to lead to nothing?

So, trust me, I know just how you feel. I wish I could say there is an easy solution, but if there was, I'd be with the girl of my dreams right now and I could give you a lovely how to guide. What I have learned, though, is that it is better to fight and claw for whatever happiness you can find for yourself. Otherwise, if you just give up and resign yourself to being miserable, then you live your life miserable. At least if you scratch and claw for any happiness you can find, you occasionally find some. Even if it is just fleeting moments here and there, it is so worth it. Trust me.

Not only that, but if you keep trying, you just never know. Maybe you will find somebody special. Somebody who will help to pull you out of your shell once and for all. If there's even the chance of that happening, isn't it worth fighting to make it happen?

I'll say this again, I know this all just seems like words and nothing more. I know from experience how it is SO much easier to say these things than it is to actually live them, but trust me, it is worth it. I can tell you from experience that it feels so much better trying to find your own happiness (even if you feel like you never do) then it does just giving up on the possibility of it ever happening.

I sort of hate how I just sound like some lame inspirational speech here, because I understand being so low that this sort of pep talk kind of stuff doesn't help, but it's really the only way to sum it up.

So, whatever you can do for yourself. If it's throwing yourself into hobbies you love, if it's getting help from a therapist, if it's attending singles events, whatever you can do to help yourself feel better and to give yourself a chance to maybe prove yourself wrong.... it is worth it to try. Good luck. Sincerely.

[pcmaster]

I like how he only bypassed my reply... are you thinking of that Peter something guy, Wakeup? if so I can see similarities.

PeterSC is going to prostitutes so it cant be him. I think She mean Lovereject - YoungCosmio but that guy got slut too and had sex with normal people afterwards too.

This guy says he never kissed a girl.

OP I think you should save up 4 thousands and take on bootcamp. You know there are guys who are helping guys like to to open up socially and increase their change with girls by pushing you and killing your fears and insecurities. 24 is still a young age and you can still turn your life over.
Look up on internet and youtube guys like Sasha Daygame, Kezia Noble, SimplePickup- they have good forum too about pickup. And RSD - Real social dynamics. RSD Tyler and RSD Julien- Julien Blanc.

Basically what you have to do to be good with girls is work on yourself and be as good human being as you can be, be a better man. If you are trying and its not working then you have to stop and look on yourself and try something new. We all do mistakse but most important thing is not to repeat these mistakes.

[Wakeup]

PeterSC is going to prostitutes so it cant be him. I think She mean Lovereject - YoungCosmio but that guy got slut too and had sex with normal people afterwards too.

Yes, I was thinking of LovesReject/young cosmo. I'm still dubious about his post about losing his virginity. *shrugs* No proof, just comparing.

[tampitump]

I understand why you might draw connections between me and others here. But I can assure you that I'm a brand new member who has never used this website before. My intention was to use this website to vent and discuss my issues anonymously. I don't want to give out information or pictures of myself. Simple as that. I do appreciate the supportive responses here.

[basilandthyme]

Tamp isn't nearly as cynical about women as YC was.

[Fuzzyfeeling]

How do you want others to accept you, if you haven't accepted yourself? Read it ,memorize it ,And work on it.

[Wakeup]

Tamp isn't nearly as cynical about women as YC was.

Oh... he just hasn't had the time yet, me thinks.

[tampitump]

I DO suffer from some pretty intense deppresion. But I've never had it diagnosed or treated. I tend to suffer from self-image issues, lack of self-esteem, etc. I find it impossible to be with large groups of people. It seems they are always judging me and ostracizing me. I'm not very good at speaking or conversation. My depression often gets to the point where I cannot enjoy the things I love. I have no energy most of the time either.

I know y'all aren't my shrinks so I'll just leave it at this.