I like "sluts" but can't stay with them...

[Seecretly]

I'm from a country where any "open" behavior of a girl is considered slutty. Unfortunately i was teached this ideal and i can't keep it out of my life. For example talking about sex/doing roleplaying or anything else during sex/ even just making out with a lot of guys/ sending nudes. I like girls that do stuff like this (except the making out with a lot of guys part), but i could never stay with them because i'm scared of being cheated on, as i got my heart broken already, and this kind of girl cheats very easily.

Tl;dr :
-because of my education i feel like many girls are sluts even though it's just a normal behavior in the usa
-i like this kind of girls but i know they will cheat on me sooner or later so i can't date them


Any ideas?

Thanks!


P.S. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, i actually know english but it's very late here and i'm exhausted.

[basilandthyme]

The word "slut" is really offensive. If you start by finding a less judgemental word to use both here and in your mind, perhaps you will find peace with the issue.

Your other alternative is to stay lonely forever.

[Seecretly]

Ohh please.. I obviously don't mean it in an offensive way, the problem is that the word is necessary to explain the situation. Why don't you suggest me another less offensive word that can transmit the same idea?

[dickriculous]

What exactly is the problem? I don't get it. All you did was state your opinion on slutty women. What is the obstacle that needs to be overcome? Do you want to undo your social conditioning? Are you asking us how to tame a wild chick? Please specify. From what I'm seeing it sounds like the solution is literally as simple as "don't commit to those women" but I don't know if that's what you're asking.

[basilandthyme]

Ohh please.. I obviously don't mean it in an offensive way, the problem is that the word is necessary to explain the situation. Why don't you suggest me another less offensive word that can transmit the same idea?

If being a 'slut' wasn't a judgement call, then you would not have a problem with women who are confident in the bedroom. You would also not assume that a confident woman will cheat.

[Wakeup]

I think the word "promiscuous" will suit your purposes, Op.

There are lots of women that want what you want in the male form, so have fun and when you're ready to settle down, good luck finding a chaste women that will want someone who has a huge double standard and who can trust that YOU can get through life without cheating on her.

[smarta$$]

I think "promiscuous" has a negative connotation, too. How about "liberated"?

[basilandthyme]

*High five* smarta$$

[megvoh]

Just have open relationships with the sloots then, can't cheat if in a polyamorous relationship.

[Wakeup]

I think "promiscuous" has a negative connotation, too. How about "liberated"?

It's only negative if you make it so. It is, afterall the word for persons who are, as you put it, "liberated."

[smarta$$]

It's only negative if you make it so. It is, afterall the word for persons who are, as you put it, "liberated."

Except the word "liberated" sounds positive, and promiscuous doesn't.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, my first piece of advice would be not to unfairly judge somebody for living their own life. Even if you may think something is "slutty" it may not be that way in other people's eyes. It is okay if you don't agree with somebody's lifestyle, but if they are not hurting you or anybody else, they don't deserve to be judged. Though, it is fine if you feel like that maybe makes them not a good match for you, as that is your decision.

I take it, though, that you don't mean to judge. So, that being the case, I suppose all you can really do is to go out with women who more so match your idea of what is not "slutty," so to speak. (Though, I do agree I'm not too keen on that word.) I mean, it seems unlikely that it is something you'd be able to change about yourself.... especially considering the fact that you even realize yourself that it is perhaps unreasonable but you still cannot help your gut reaction.

I sort of think it is similar to if/when you don't find a certain type of person attractive. You can't help who/what you do and do not find attractive. You may sort of feel bad, and you may be able to intellectually admit they are an attractive person.... but they just are not attractive to you. You can't make yourself attracted to them. This is kind of similar. You intellectually know that these behaviors don't necessarily make a woman "slutty," but you can't help that it still makes you feel that way anyway. So better that you just look for women who don't make you feel that way.

[fearoflove]

I think you just like women who likes sex but don't like it when they do it with multiple other men. Some women are good in bed but also have enough self-control to not do that with many men.

[Wakeup]

Except the word "liberated" sounds positive, and promiscuous doesn't.

Like I said... It only "sounds" or "is" negative if you make it so. "Liberated" can be both positive or negative as well ~ depending on one's point of view on being "liberated."

For Example:

I like "Liberated" Men/women" but can't stay with them...

How does that make the situation any different? In time, "liberated" would be used just as heinously as "slut" is used and it would sound just as negative.

[smarta$$]

In time, "liberated" would be used just as heinously as "slut" is used and it would sound just as negative.

In time, perhaps. But not now.

I see what you are saying; it's just that I think words matter. It is commonly accepted that "promiscuous" is a negative label, whereas other words are not. In time, you are correct, and the meanings may evolve, but for now? They are different, and the words one uses to describe any behavior says a lot about how they feel about it. If the OP actually likes these women, he might try choosing to cast a positive spin on their behavior.