Her father is a racist!

[Bowili]

Hi guys. Ill just go straight to it. So I've fallen in love with a beautiful girl and we have been together for three mnths. Before I met her, I was just this stupid kid hanging out with his friends, trying to pick up girls on weekends and living as if there was no tomorrow. Then I met her and every single moment with her has been magical. We met randomly, we were stuck in a long line during a concert and started talking. I became a different guy the moment I saw her. We started dating but there were some problems. I realized that she was keeping me away from her family and didnt want me to come over to her house etc. It made me a little bit suspicious, but I soon understood why she did this. About a month ago, someone told her father about us and he flipped out.

He is aparently a racist and has told her to never meet me again (I'm African American). A couple of days ago, he spotted us walking together and he came out of his car and ranted against me (calling me the n-word). He tries to stop her from meeting me, calling me, texting me etc. She always finds a way to do so, but this is getting a bit tiresome for both of us. We have been hiding around for weeks, trying to keep things away from her family. I don't want her to be frozen out of her family because of me. She loves her father and her family very much and she actually cried yesterday because of the pressure she was feeling. It made me feel like ****.

A couple of weeks ago, her family had a huge dinner, inviting a friend of theirs son over. They were trying to hook her up with him. Its crazy. My f'ed up friends are telling me to **** her and leave her. That its not worth it all. No one seems to understand that i genuinely love this girl. I think about her every single moment. But her father is poisoning her. He is threatenig to kick her out, or not paying her college fees when she starts college soon etc. Seeing her suffer like that made me tlel her yesterday that perhaps I should leave her alone. She started crying again and begged me to stay fighting. I told her she is crazy if she sacrifices her future for me. I start thinking that I should just end it for her sake, but then Im just lost in love with her and cant do it.

I dont really know what to do. She cant risk her future for me. I dont have anything to give her. Im 19 and work part time, earning next to nothing. I never thought I of all ppl would become so emotional over a girl, but this is unbearable. For the last couple of days she has been an emotional wreck, crying and crying, thinking that I would leave her, thinking that her father doesnt love her anymore etc etc. What to do?!!

[lostinsouthlove]

You are both young and haven't been together long. I'm assuming that she still lives at home with her parents. It sounds like her father is going to make it impossible for her to live with them and be with you. As much as it may hurt you now I think it would be best if you broke up with her. She's probably not ready to live outside of her parents home and not ready to support herself. There is nothing wrong with her dating outside of her race. But if she's going to continue doing so she needs to be completely independent of her parents before she does so. it would be very difficult to maintain a relationship that started with her being kicked out of her home and her having to rely on you. That would put a tremendous amount of stress on both of you. She needs to work on building a support system of people that will accept who she dates and do a lot of preparation before she's ready to face her father. I'm very sorry that you've had to deal with this. It's a shame that racism still exists today.

[Bowili]

You are both young and haven't been together long. I'm assuming that she still lives at home with her parents. It sounds like her father is going to make it impossible for her to live with them and be with you. As much as it may hurt you now I think it would be best if you broke up with her. She's probably not ready to live outside of her parents home and not ready to support herself. There is nothing wrong with her dating outside of her race. But if she's going to continue doing so she needs to be completely independent of her parents before she does so. it would be very difficult to maintain a relationship that started with her being kicked out of her home and her having to rely on you. That would put a tremendous amount of stress on both of you. She needs to work on building a support system of people that will accept who she dates and do a lot of preparation before she's ready to face her father. I'm very sorry that you've had to deal with this. It's a shame that racism still exists today.

Is there nothing else I can do? Im starting to consider just going over to her father and begging him to understand. Iknw that would be pointless and stupid...

But if it comes to her getting kicked out etc, I really dont have an option. I cant be so selfish, and by then i need to store away by feelings, though I dunno how.

[lostinsouthlove]

I think going to talk to her father could be dangerous for you. It sounds like he would be happy to find an excuse to hurt you. I really don't think there is anything to do. End things and let her figure her life out. She needs time to build the life she wants. You won't need to store your feelings. You need to get over her and move on with your life. If you want to be a friend to her and support her after you get over her I think that would be okay.

[BiggDoggOne]

I think going to talk to her father could be dangerous for you. It sounds like he would be happy to find an excuse to hurt you. I really don't think there is anything to do. End things and let her figure her life out. She needs time to build the life she wants. You won't need to store your feelings. You need to get over her and move on with your life. If you want to be a friend to her and support her after you get over her I think that would be okay.

This^^^^^!

Trust me I know your pain. I had the same thing happen to me when I was 21. The whole damn fam was racist. Unfortunately the only advice I can give you is hit it and quit it just like your friends told you. Thats what I did. Move on and have fun. Good luck.

Oh yea stay away from her Dad. He'll kill you.