Ok, I don't actually know If I need help, advice or what, but I just need to tell you this, maybe there are some chances. But well, knowing me, I may ruin those chances, still.
I went to new school and saw regular people there, vain people.
I liked to one girl and she actually came to talk to me and complimeted me almost on the first day and she said she noticed me right when I came and stuff... She seemed vain, but then... Oh. She started to like me. As I told, she had said some good things to me and I barely maid her happy. I used to be just not so good at flirting and stuff, I wasn't used to it.
At first, on the first days in school I talked to her when on the bus together, she was new and I was new.
But as the time went by, she got more friends and I am not that kind of person who goes talking between to people... I just don't like to interrupt. And I also think that maybe I gave a wrong impression to her by that.
I know at least 2 girls who were interersted in me (in my previous school), and one got pretty close even. But I wasn't so interested in them. Even one was the girl who was a class prettyness and all the boys wanted her... She was just, a bit vain and too rich for me, hehe.
But the girl in new school was different. And the problem was also, that I felt insecure, i didn't have job and I am not in rich family also (16 then), so i was kind of shy for asking her out.
Also, I sort of go a bit nervous in some situations and may say things what I don't mean, like lieing. In these situations, i have lied some things i regret very much and they eat me inside, but I have never lied to her personaly. And I don't like lieing, and I don't lie purpously. its just, in some situations, people are asking really weird and you really don't get what they are asking and stuff.
So, as the times went by, we talked lesser and lesser and then we had only eye-contact. I never got her phone number or her address, and now she is gone.
She didn't tell anybody that she is going to new school, even if I knew she had thought so, and she acted like she was going. But I still didn't believe it. At the last day, on the school end day, I really found out she that she goes away. I wanted to talk to her and say good bye and wish luck to her and hug her and... But I couldn't, she was with her best friend all the time, and as I said before, I am not kind of interrupting person. And she looked really happy actually, I thought maybe I ruin something etc...
But now she is gone and she doesn't know how I feel. I think I know where she goes but I don't have her phone number nor her address. But i think I am ready to ask her out... I missed my chance.
There may be a chance of getting her phone number, but I am too shy to get it.
I don't know, maybe it is better to let it go? But she was different, I haven't seen such a girl in my life, she is so smart and she is thinking different like me. I like the way she dresses, I like the way she looks, but she is gone.
What should I do?
Oh, I know what I can do, but how and how I can make myself doing that?
Ohh... a monolouge...
Geez.
Thanks.