Help! Should I leave it or be direct and ask?

[BalticGirl]

Hi Katie,
Thanks for your opinion. Well we arevery much picking on every word here.
I did not say I wont make it on Monday because je cant make it on Friday. Not at all.
My reply was " let me know what day works better for you" his reply " Or monday" does not nessasarily mean "i cant on Friday"
And its not that hard to type a line smth like " Friday isnt very good for me, monday would work better"
When I wrotw this post, i just wanted some advice wherther or not I should give a try to contact him again. And everyone in its own way was helpful- THANK YOU ALL!
I am not a Miss World thats guys should be running after me, but neither he is.
Yes I did like him, but if he could lose an interest just after one text ( not even chat, as in my opinion text messages a lot of times can cause confusion) well... Not sure who is a diva here?

[TheEvilJester]

You're right! How silly of me not to presume that when someone (him) states that the END of the weekend would work better for him, that the END of the weekend actually includes BEFORE the weekend as well!

How stupid of me....what was I thinking??? Lol

OP, his response to your Friday suggestion (or how about MONDAY?) speaks volumes. He got annoyed because clearly you either weren't listening when he said the END of the weekend would work better.. or you didn't care...

No wonder he lost interest. If the tables were turned and I told a guy who asked me out I was available at the END of the weekend, but he disregarded that and pushed for the Friday BEFORE the weekend because that day worked better for HIM, I would be turned off too. It's inconsiderate and frankly shows signs that he may be a bit of a control freak. Wanting things his way, instead of being considerate and respectful of my schedule and time limitations. Even after I told him.



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^^And if that's not bad enough, even after he said "or how about Monday?" you proceeded to disregard THAT too...announcing again Friday would work better for YOU.

Newsflash: when you ask someone out, unless they are a friend you have known awhile or a family member, the onus is on you to be considerate of "their" schedule.

Actually, speaking personally, even with friends, I am always considerate of their schedules. That is how I was raised. To be considerate and respectful towards everyone.

And when they say they are available the *end* of the weekend, you don't shoot back with a day *before* the weekend because that day (Friday) works better for YOU.

And then when they essentially tell you "that" day doesn't work by suggesting a day at the END of the weekend instead (in this case Monday)...you DON'T disregard that and again shoot back with that same day (Friday) that he pretty much JUST told you was "not" a good day for him. Otherwise, he would have said yes to Friday, instead of suggesting Monday!

Simple consideration and common courtesy. Again, no wonder he never called again. Ugh.

Fair enough, but going by that method of thinking, you could just as easily argue that HE disrespected HER by suggesting Monday without even commenting on Friday. I mean, after all, he did the same thing, basically ignoring her Friday suggestion and suggesting Monday instead. Were I her I could think "Wait, so what happened to Friday."

Making plans with somebody can be and should be able to be a discussion. In other words, if Friday worked better for her, but Monday worked better for him, what is wrong with discussing that further? Maybe to her "Friday works better" means "Monday COULD work, but Friday works better." Maybe to him "Monday works better" means "Friday DOESN'T work at all."

If he came right out and said "Friday DOES NOT work for me" and she still insisted on Friday, that I would consider disrespectful.

As far as I am concerned, there is no right or wrong here. Just different interpretations. I think, perhaps, this is further proof of why people just shouldn't make plans via text message. A spoken conversation would have been so much clearer and could have also allowed a back and forth discussion without this misunderstanding.

Regardless, for whatever reason, he chose to move on without being mature enough to be honest about it. So, to Hell with him. He isn't worth your time. Move on yourself and find somebody more suitable to be your match.

[TablesandChairs]

You did nothing wrong; scheduling plans is a two way street requiring some back/forth communication; that said, if I was very keen on someone - I wouldn't waste the weekend so you've got some indication of where you stand right there.

Don't despair; this stuff happens. I once went on 2 amazing dates with a guy - to say he seemed 'keen' is an under-statement. We agreed to meet up again the following weekend (last date was Tuesday). A lot of texting and calls from his end in the meantime...and then bang. Nothing. Zilch. There was absolutely nothing said/done that he could have taken offence to. So, I checked his FB - yep, he was still alive. Then I moved on. I'll never know, but clearly something better came up.

Don't worry, if he's not following up, he's no 'him'.

[katie7304]

EvilJester, I agree with you that he should have been direct and just said "Friday does not work for me, how about Monday?" A lot of ambiguity there, and chance for misinterpretation and miscommunication.

I also agree he is choosing to move on, which is probably something he had been thinking about for awhile anyway BEFORE this ever even happened.

He was busy last Saturday and Sunday, and most likely Friday as well, if I had to take a wild guess, it would be he met someone else.

OP, I'm so sorry....but I think it's best you do nothing and just move on yourself. Don't contact him again....next!

[TheEvilJester]

Frankly, like the others, I'd sort of lean towards thinking he has met somebody else as well. I mean, we could just be overthinking it. Sometimes people are just busy. Still, his actions (or lack of actions) since sort of lean me towards thinking that is the case. Even if it is not, sounds as though he has moved on for whatever reason without being man enough to tell you. So, you should just do the same and find yourself somebody who will appreciate you.

[Vw_beetle]

If I'm not too late. He did say Monday. You asked Friday and he said Monday. Then you asked again and he didn't reply. So don't even wait. Maybe he found himself another girl. Don't waste your time. Always listen to people specifically their first answer. You don't want people to repeat themselves just because you want it that way. You'll lose credit. When he said Monday your response should have been then we will do sth some other time. And wait for him to get back.

Now. Let's say he didn't reply. Wait for him to take another step. You don't want to be desperate. He needs to make the move if he wants you. Unfortunately these stupid games are imp. It builds the the relationship. Otherwise he will be like oh baaah. She's not that imp.

Or simply he really does have sth imp. To do. By being patient you will have proved to be worth being with. Either way always be patient and respond to people's first answer. If it doesn't suit you then rout it to another time. Good luck.

[Fuzzyfeeling]

Time will tell eventually ,don't try too hard and don't push too much ,you tried to suggest and well it didn't work out ,stop at that ,as long as you tried you're not at fault ,now just be patient and take it like an adult ,the facebook thing ,why delete him! ,well you're friends at core if he doesn't want a date that doesn't meen he hates you personally and he'll delete you...at...fb? Just my 2 cents give it some time ^~^

[katie7304]

If I'm not too late. He did say Monday. You asked Friday and he said Monday. Then you asked again and he didn't reply. So don't even wait. Maybe he found himself another girl. Don't waste your time. Always listen to people specifically their first answer. You don't want people to repeat themselves just because you want it that way. You'll lose credit. When he said Monday your response should have been then we will do sth some other time. And wait for him to get back.

Now. Let's say he didn't reply. Wait for him to take another step. You don't want to be desperate. He needs to make the move if he wants you. Unfortunately these stupid games are imp. It builds the the relationship. Otherwise he will be like oh baaah. She's not that imp.

Or simply he really does have sth imp. To do. By being patient you will have proved to be worth being with. Either way always be patient and respond to people's first answer. If it doesn't suit you then rout it to another time. Good luck.

^^^100% agree with this!