Relationship Problems IS IT TIME TO LET GO

[Tiffanimonroe85]

Ok so I'm 19 years old and a college student , I'm really attractive and get a lot of attention from men on social media . I met my boyfriend on social media a year ago and we've been on an off since October of 2013 . I was in the process of dating his friend before him but ended up liking him more so we talked on the phone every night , hung out , he met my family I met his , we even contemplated marriage and having children in the future , the only problem is he says I'm "too friendly " on social media with guys and it's really disrespectful to him , and I am "friendly" in a way . If someone comments up under my pictures I will politely respond , "Thank you " , but to him that's being "friendly". He even gets angry if guys comment up under my statuses and I respond .I don't know if it's an insecurity issue or what because he comments up under girls pictures all the time and I Don't get angry . He also always accused me of cheating and he doesn't allow me to have male friends he thinks all my male friends secretly want to have sex with me . Okay, to get to the point , last week my boyfriend asked me for 250 dollars because he had to pay court fees , I am currently unemployed but I asked my dad for the money
unfortunately, I was unable to get the money for him and he got angry and said he thought I didn't care if he went to jail which was completely untrue , but I mistakenly sent him a text meant for a friend that said " I Deleted it all , he's not gonna find out" and he flipped on me .He texted me and said ,"lose my number " I'm out of your life for good , you're single ". I don't want to be with you , I don't care anymore" . This really hurt me because he has walked out of my life before but never said those words to me they really hurt because this is the same guy that said he wanted to Marry me and I was the girl of his dreams . He's done many other things to hurt me in the past like lying about owning a car and some mysterious girl even Messaged me from his Twitter account saying she was with him for 11 MONTHS and that he had been driving HER CAR and I still forgave him for all that but I texted him trying to reason with him and see him one last time and all he said was , "k." I finally gave up and stopped texting him but I'm still hurt. I miss him and I'm in love with him but I don't know what to do.

[basilandthyme]

You will manage to construct a far more engaging fictional story if you learn the basics of punctuation and grammar. The first sentence you write goes for 8 lines! You could also learn to be more succinct. This single paragraph rambles too much for anyone to follow easily.

Need to pay more attention in English class.

Grade: C-

[TheEvilJester]

Yeah, this one does kind of raise a few flags for me as well, basil. I mean, at least near the end there it sort of seemed a little too outlandish to believe. Still, unless it is patently obviously fake, I tend to err on the side of pretending every message is real (even if I think otherwise). If nothing else, even if this is a fake story, maybe somebody else will read it who has a similar story and my advice may help them. So, that being the case....

A) What sort of comments do guys leave on your social media? Are they ever inappropriate/sexual in nature or overtly flirty? If you say yes to any of that, then I'd kind of agree that it is not okay for you to just allow that and even encourage it if you are in a relationship. It is especially not okay if these guys are well aware you are in a relationship and still say sexual or overly flirty things to you.

On the other hand, if it is just simple, ordinary, polite comments, then why would you not respond? Somebody is nice enough to comment on your stuff, I personally find it rude to not respond, or at the very least "like" their comment so you've at least acknowledged/thanked them in some way.

B) How do you respond to their comments? If you don't mind sharing, what are some examples of what you say in response? That could also make a difference, because it may be possible the way you are responding is what makes him upset.

If the comments guys leave are innocent enough, as are your responses, then my instinct is to say your boyfriend is a psycho (or, at the very least, an immature child), and you'd be better off without him.

Now, when it comes to the whole jail thing.... where in the Hell does he get the nerve asking you for money to pay HIS court fees? And then just expecting you to bother YOUR parents for money for him? Doesn't he have family or friends he can bother for the money? Or better off, why doesn't he get a damn job and get the money himself? Why should it be YOUR responsibility to pay HIS court fees? Frankly, the fact that he has court fees in the first place seems like a big red flag to me... but that could be for a lot of reasons, so depending upon the specifics maybe not.

Still, it sounds like you could not be getting more screaming, glowing red flags telling you to leave this guy in your dust. I know it can be hard to let go of somebody when you felt you could really have something, but you really are much better off without this negative element in your life. Find yourself a good guy who will appreciate you, and preferably not have a criminal record.

Good luck.

[Tiffanimonroe85]

The comments are usually innocent and positive , nothing vulgar or overly sexual . He claimed he "took a charge " for his friend a few years ago but he had two Felonies and his friend only had 2 ........but what REALLY bothered me is the fact that he waited on the day of( the day he claimed he had to have to have the money ) to ask me for it. Once he was unable to obtain the money from me he started making comments like, " I don't think you really care if I go to jail or not" . I've completely given up any hope what so ever of us getting back to together. He's walked out of my life before and this is the LAST TIME.

[Wakeup]

That's nice!

[TheEvilJester]

The comments are usually innocent and positive , nothing vulgar or overly sexual . He claimed he "took a charge " for his friend a few years ago but he had two Felonies and his friend only had 2 ........but what REALLY bothered me is the fact that he waited on the day of( the day he claimed he had to have to have the money ) to ask me for it. Once he was unable to obtain the money from me he started making comments like, " I don't think you really care if I go to jail or not" . I've completely given up any hope what so ever of us getting back to together. He's walked out of my life before and this is the LAST TIME.

I hope you mean that, because this is the kind of destructive force you do not need in your life. Tell ya what.... let the loser go to jail. I hope he does. The state will be doing you a favor by eliminating the problem anyway, at least temporarily. I think you need to move on and never let this guy back into your life again. But, that would have to be your call.