pure jealousy

[lilwing89]

ok im running into problems pretty fast with my new girlfriend. she always talks about "hot guys" and this doesnt include me, i told her it makes me jealous when she says stuff like taht and then like when we are just hanging out like she brings them up and then shes like "oops, sorry i know you don't like that" then im like "yea ok"....she never says im hot or anything(so i just assume she thinks im not) and well yea shes out of state and she is visiting her best friend, and well i called there last night, and we talked for a while and then she was like "theres a horny guy named pat here", "im like oh thats great", you could hear the sarcasm in my voice. and this "pat" said he was going to **** my girlfriend on his knees, and if she would, she wouldnt just make it obvious like that would she? she told me to be quiet when he said that, and i heard some guy say something but i couldnt understand it. and her best friend was like oh he said he wants to **** your girlfriend on his knees.
so grrrr im like in a mixture of anger/jealousy.........im not sure whats really going on, they said he was spending the night im like no he isn't and they were like yea he is, and oooooooooooooooo that pisses me off.
what can i do? what do you think is going on?

[lilwing89]

her friend kelsey said she isn't like that(meaning she wouldnt cheat on me), and she really likes me, but idk...

[shh!]

Whether she is "like that" or not, I think the question you ought to be asking yourself if this is the way you really want to live, and is this really the kind of relationship you want? Some girls get a kick out of making their boyfriends jealous because it gives them a sense of power. The question is whether or not you wish to tolerate her using your feelings as a source of entertainment.

[Tone]

Yeah dude that's pretty messed up... if I was in your situation I would

#1. Beat Pat's ass

#2. Make it very clear to my g/f that hangin out with guys who say they want to "**** you on their knees" doesn't fly with me, no way around it

#3. Go beat Pat's ass again

And yeah, some people (not just girls) really like to make their significant other jealous, could be what she's doin... Good luck >;[

[mhussain]

if today u tolerate her remark and giggles about what he said ... tomorrow she will think that u she just sould get away with the actual thing ...

an iron fist in a velvet glove approach would be appropriate

Hussain

[some1there]

Ah knock this one on the head... Just make a joke about it (aimed at Pat) then forget about him. She'll laugh, think you're relaxed (and not overly paranoid) and probably be impressed by your decisiveness!

[Fawn]

I do agree with the other comments, but I would also take it a bit seriously. This is obviously effecting you emotionally and thats wrong. I would suggest having a serious conversation with her. You need to tell her that this is causing problems and this is effecting the realtionship that you both have.

[Fyesteema4]

Since you and your girlfriend are like 15-16 right? This is probably not much to do with her feelings for you, but more of her feeling a sense of power, and acknowlegding that boys are attracted to her. She is making you feel bad and you're still coming to her! Distance yourself a little bit, don't call her for a day or something and see what happens. Mention other girls that you think are hot. See if she gets jealous by that. If you cling to her more when she acts like this, its only going to promote worse behavior.

[jay12]

god this really reminds me of my ex, and its really pissin me off. I want to tell you to tell her to **** off, cos not all girls are like this and i dont want u to end up like i ended up - crying over a relationship that meant nothing to my ex, even tho she said she really liked me, all her friends said theyd not seen her this into someone before etc etc.

My ex couldnt stand it when i said anyone else was hot or anythin, but shed say things like that all the time. Try not to let the whole thing be one sided. But if your feeling like i felt and u only have eyes for her, its gonna be tough.

My honest advise would be to tell her that if that if she continues its gonna end, but again if shes like my ex she wont change. Is this how u wanna live?

[jay12]

Dont worry about comin across as paranoid either, i wish id spoke my mind earlier, but cos she was more experienced i never wanted to seem inexperienced...but there is no set way to be. Say whats on your mind or youl end up resenting her......Like me!!!

[lilwing89]

ok her and her best friend wrote me a long email saying the dude was joking, but i dont know the dude, they shouldnt just expect me to know if he was joking or not, right? they didnt say he was kidding or anything...then my gf and her best friend accused me of accusing her of being a slut or something like that, and i never said that i simply told her i get jealous easily and it might ruin us if she does something liek that and i asked her what was going on. also her and her best friend called me things like over protective, and stuff like that, and its not true. chrissa, my best friend, said she is over reacting and well yea, she was. in the email i mentioned what my chrissa thought about all this, and they were both like "we dont care about what *whats their name* thinks, which ticked me off. my gf was never like this until she went to her best friend's house, i think her best friend is a *****. and i was talking to her yesterday and i said me and her best friend are her only best friends and her best friend got really mad or something and locked herself in the bathroom and started crying (is this not over reacting???), and this is total bullshit....also my gf didnt even how do you say...stick up for me in the email, she went totally against me, and said "pat" was cool... this is bullshit.
then i called her! and we were getting along for about 20 minutes til she said she had to go im like "aww man, why?" and shes like "cause" and then im like are you getting on the internet later? and shes like "no cause your mean", so i was like "fine be like that" and hung up..

and another thing, im like the only guy that likes her, let alone thinks she is attractive. and she is 14 and i am 16..

[mhussain]

she is 14 ... and she is immature ...

lilwing89 ... i would continue this relationship but be warned now that her immaturity or her friends interfering or both might be a problem .

i hope that doesnt happen, but be warned

take care

Hussain

[lilwing89]

thanks hussain

[Fawn]

Hussain has hit it on the button. She is VERY immature.

Your still young. I would get away from this and find a girl that actually cares.

[Cybog]

I guessed 14-15 pretty early on.

Jesus H. Christ. Kids at 14 talking about ****ing on their knees these days. It's no wonder half of you who come here haven't even graduated high school, and probably know 5-10 people under 18 who are pregnant or have a kid.

Call me old, but some of you kids need to stop trying to grow up so damn fast and just go with the flow.

Maybe 5% of any of you in a relationship in High School will still be with this person in another 10 years. If that. Don't believe me? I don't really care. But High School dating has about as much of a meaning in life as making your bed.

It might look great for a little while, but sooner or later it's all going to get ****ed up again.