The problems of a teenage couple...

[Paulsey]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a yeaar in July. Lately we have both wanted to have sex with each other but we are over powered by the risks. We both fell that sex at our age is a violation of our morals but it is getting hard to ignore the urges. We were just wondering if anyone out there has experenced a similar problem or if any of you just have some advice.

[mhussain]

how old are both of you

Hussain

[Paulsey]

how old are both of you

Hussain

I'm 16 and she's 15 (bound to be 16 in 6 days).

[Paulsey]

how old are both of you

Hussain

I'll be 16 on Thurday and he's already 16

[mhussain]

its very young ... i know thats its very hard to resist but have patience

i know thats not what u want to hear .. but my friend their is no middle path for this ... even if u decide to simply make out it WILL lead to u two sleeping together ... ofcourse u must decide on your own .. this is simply my opinion ...

have patience ... all comes to those who wait

Hussain

[shh!]

I respect that you are giving consideration to your values. They will probably last longer than your yearnings will. Just try to imagine what course of action will allow you to look back in 5-10 years and be proud; that is the correct course even though it is likely not the easier one.

If you wish to avoid having sex, it would be easier for you both if you were to avoid having excessive amounts of time alone together.

Also, if you do decide to have sex (and I hope you don't because you are still quite young) remember to use birth control AND condoms (yes, both!) to protect yourselves from both unwanted pregnancy and STDs. I personally don't feel anyone ought to be having sex who is not ready to accept the responsibility of an unitended pregnancy, and I really don't think any 16-year old is ready for that kind of responsibility.

In either case, it is important to remember to act in a way that will cause neither of you any amount of shame later.

[bluesummer]

.Urges are human nature and they can be damn tough to fight, but remember....there are lots of other sexual things you can do that are just as great and don't require intercourse. You already seem concerned that it violates your personal ethics, so that tells me you're not ready for it yet. Don't do it unless everything tells you its ok...your body, your heart, and your mind. You don't want it to be something you regret.

[Paulsey]

"there are lots of other sexual things you can do that are just as great and don't require intercourse."-bluesummer.

Could you tell us some of those things, or could someone tell us what are some other activities that will help us avert this.

[mhussain]

paulsey ...

there might come a time when there will be a balance point ... she will be looking at you and u will be looking at her and ur lips and ur bodies will be only centimeters apart and u will feel her body heat so hard that all this advice we are giving will go right out of your mind ... wht u decide at that time will decide how u look upon urself in future ...

remember paulsey ... at 16 ... its easier to think that everything will be alright ....
unfortunately its not always so .... if u are able to control ur desires .. u have control over ur destiny ....

but u must decide for urself paulsey....best of luck

Hussain

[bluesummer]

Ok, so by this I take it to mean you guys haven't done ANYTHING sexual yet? At all? Not that that's a bad thing, but if you are choosing to progress your physical relationship, you can't go from hand holding --> kissing --> sex. There's stuff missing in the middle.
You gotta start small before you make the big leap. As much as it kills me to go tell teenagers to fool around with each other sexually, I suppose it's better than saying 'go get laid'. At least we avoid those potential pregnancy issues....yikes.....

[Paulsey]

Just so you all know, you're kind of talking to both of us.
Just thought it'd make the whole thing easier.*Both signedin on different computers*

[snickers]

Dear Paulsey,
Wow, a whole year! That's quite a long time, but let me ask you this, how long do you plan to be married? I'm personally very strong in abstinence, because I understand that my body is a gift from God to my future husband. Here's the good news... so is yours! You can choose to have sex now, because you 'really love eachother' and 'there won't be any consequences,' or you can look at your husband on your wedding night and tell him that you waited your whole life so that he can be the only man to ever enjoy your body. How romantic is that! The urges and temptations will be there no matter what, i'm not denying that, but what you can do about that is just stay out of situations that will tempt you more than you need to be: Don't kiss lying down, try not to spend too much time alone together, or in an environment that could send you 'urges.' simple things like that could really help you in the long run. You can submit to your desires now and get them overwith, or you can keep those desires for later, and take your reward where it will be the most beautiful. Did you know that people who enter their marriage as virgins have a 60% lower divorce rate than those who don't? think about it .
Song of Songs 8:4

[Paulsey]

We understand the consequences and connentations of hainvg sex. We Actually don't want to do anything...we both really do want to wait. Just right now were between a rock and a hard place. We were just wondering if there was anything that any of you could recmend that we could do while we are alone togher. Maybe something that could make these urges less intense and get all of the sexual tension away from us. Any sugestions would be very appreciated!