what is this relationship supposed to be?

[aschneider5]

I've been seeing this girl for a few months and I have had the most fun and the happiest times I've had since as far back as I can remember, but I cannot figure out what this relationship is supposed to be. We have amazing sex and our chemistry is volatile to say the least. We are on the same wave length on an incredible number of different things and I know that she is happy with me as well. But she is very unclear on the topic of what the relationship is. I've asked and tried to talk about it but she tries to dodge the question or just says we're dating, and doesn't want a boyfriend right now. Here's what is throwing me off, she says this, but she is affectionate in public, brings me around her friends, her parents, her home, we are frequently intimate, almost always texts/calls me first and she's not seeing other guys. At least I doubt she is. We are rarely apart for more than 8 hours at a time. My question being, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? I love it but I am truly at a loss as to what IT is.... Help....maybe?

Sincerely,
One confused s.o.b.

[basilandthyme]

Sounds to me like she's keeping her options open but is enjoying you in the meantime. Sorry mate.

[hoxtonchris]

ease up mate,she clearly loves being your girl but is not ready to become a wife,dont push her she will run if you do!

[eve.ashley]

you do not have to define everything all at once.

that sounds like very good relationship.

she obviously has a bf, you, but has some issues with calling it that.

we all have issues, give your girl time.

she might be afraid of monogamy. narcissistic and other rubbish people make monogamy look so bad.

respect her wishes, fears and issues as long as she does the same for you, and negotiate and compromise...

most importantly enjoy your wonderful girlfriend and connection and give both of you time to grow together, as individuals and closer as a couple.

[Wakeup]

You should ask her to, at the very least, be sexually exclusive with you because as it is right now, both you and she has every right in the world to be sexual with other people.

If she doesn't want a label as your girlfriend then the least you can do is make sure that she's not going to bring some kind of STD/STI/Other guys baby, home to you.

[aschneider5]

Thanks for the advice, I have been giving her space and time. I think that your right eve.ashley, I think she's afraid of things getting too serious and complicated by calling it a bf/gf relationship. (honestly, I think I am too) I want things to stay exactly the way they are. As far as "sexual monogamy" goes, Im not going to skeep with anyone besides her, and she will not be with any other guys. Although, she is bi and wants to have her fun with other girls. in which case who am I to try an limit her....? So that being the only sexual exception, it's not an open relationship. All in all, I think I'll just let it be and see where life's adventures and proverbial rollercoaster takes us. Because I am happier than I've ever been in any other relationship, romantic or otherwise.


Thanks again everybody.
-S

[Wakeup]

As far as "sexual monogamy" goes, Im not going to skeep with anyone besides her, and she will not be with any other guys. Although, she is bi and wants to have her fun with other girls.

ahhhhh, the famous "we will be exclusive" assumption. Have at it and good luck to you both.

[basilandthyme]

As far as "sexual monogamy" goes, Im not going to skeep with anyone besides her, and she will not be with any other guys. Although, she is bi and wants to have her fun with other girls. in which case who am I to try an limit her....? So that being the only sexual exception, it's not an open relationship.

Sleeping with other men or other women - there's no difference. All falls under the umbrella of 'open relationship'. Anyway, you've just firmed up my idea that she is keeping her options open.

If she's going to be screwing around, I highly recommend that you don't limit yourself to just her.