Need some real Love advice??

[Troy.kapp97]

Ok, i need some help here. Ok, so i turn 18 in June, & i like this girl who turned 18/19 this past February. Im REALLY interested in her. 2 issues tho. 1) she dated one of my cousins(now 20 yrs old) yrs ago, but they broke up. 2) she has a baby, it was born months ago, from another one of her Ex-bf's. She is best friends with one of my girl cousins. I've been thinking about this girl for a while now, im interested in her & wanna get to know her better, but im nervous. Should i make the move? The only way i can really talk to her is through my girl cousin because i dont have this girl's number, & she graduated last yr, while i graduate in June(she went to different school than me anyway) What should i do? I dont wanna take too long because I dont wanna lose her. Should i text my (girl) cousin & tell her how i feel about her friend??

[basilandthyme]

Yes - text your cousin and ask if it's OK if you get her number. Just make sure he asks her permission to give it to you. Two reasons why he should ask: first, if she OKs it, then you know that you've got a better chance of success. second, one shouldn't give another person's number without permission anyway.

Good luck.

[Troy.kapp97]

Yes - text your cousin and ask if it's OK if you get her number. Just make sure he asks her permission to give it to you. Two reasons why he should ask: first, if she OKs it, then you know that you've got a better chance of success. second, one shouldn't give another person's number without permission anyway.

Good luck.

Thanks, but wait, the cousin i would text isnt her ex-bf, it would be this girls best friend, my other cousin(the female one lol)

[TheEvilJester]

How close are your families? You and the cousin who used to date her, I mean? If you are close, it could be a little awkward. How serious were the two of them? There are some specific details that could change opinions on whether it is necessarily appropriate for you to pursue her. Bottom line, though, unless there are specific reasons you feel you shouldn't, why not at least give it a shot.

Agreed, though, that you should ask the female cousin to pass the message along that you'd like her number/like to take her out or whatever. You shouldn't get somebody's number without their permission. If she is okay as basil said, if she okays it, then you know that is at least a good first sign.

As far as her having a kid, if that bothers you then don't pursue her. If it doesn't bother you, then don't let it bother you. If you're not sure, then at least don't worry about that right now. Though, you do need to make a decision how you feel about that soon if you two start to date. You are both young, so who knows if you two will wind up staying together/becoming more serious/getting married, etc. There is time to worry about that. But, if you two do go out and do hit it off, if you eventually become more serious, it will have to mean becoming part of the child's life. So, better to design sooner rather than later if you are not yet ready to be a parent, especially to somebody else's child. Again, even if you two do get together, it isn't as though you have to worry about that for a while, but it is still better to figure it out as soon as possible when a child is involved. Good luck to you!

[Troy.kapp97]

How close are your families? You and the cousin who used to date her, I mean? If you are close, it could be a little awkward. How serious were the two of them? There are some specific details that could change opinions on whether it is necessarily appropriate for you to pursue her. Bottom line, though, unless there are specific reasons you feel you shouldn't, why not at least give it a shot.

Agreed, though, that you should ask the female cousin to pass the message along that you'd like her number/like to take her out or whatever. You shouldn't get somebody's number without their permission. If she is okay as basil said, if she okays it, then you know that is at least a good first sign.

As far as her having a kid, if that bothers you then don't pursue her. If it doesn't bother you, then don't let it bother you. If you're not sure, then at least don't worry about that right now. Though, you do need to make a decision how you feel about that soon if you two start to date. You are both young, so who knows if you two will wind up staying together/becoming more serious/getting married, etc. There is time to worry about that. But, if you two do go out and do hit it off, if you eventually become more serious, it will have to mean becoming part of the child's life. So, better to design sooner rather than later if you are not yet ready to be a parent, especially to somebody else's child. Again, even if you two do get together, it isn't as though you have to worry about that for a while, but it is still better to figure it out as soon as possible when a child is involved. Good luck to you!

Yeah, i mean, he's my cousin, & we live in the same city, but i hardly see him. The baby isnt an issue, honestly. I would gladly take care of it, if i had to

[TheEvilJester]

Well, sounds like there is no reason you shouldn't at least give it a shot, then. If you don't try, you'll never know. If you try and she isn't interested, at least you tried, and at least you can move on, and move on you should. If you try and she is interested, then you'll certainly be glad you went for it. So, pretty win-win there, especially considering it isn't like you see her all that much. So, there wouldn't be too much awkwardness if you tried to ask her out and it didn't go well. Good luck to you. I hope it does go well, but if not, I hope you find somebody who will give you a chance.

[Troy.kapp97]

Well, sounds like there is no reason you shouldn't at least give it a shot, then. If you don't try, you'll never know. If you try and she isn't interested, at least you tried, and at least you can move on, and move on you should. If you try and she is interested, then you'll certainly be glad you went for it. So, pretty win-win there, especially considering it isn't like you see her all that much. So, there wouldn't be too much awkwardness if you tried to ask her out and it didn't go well. Good luck to you. I hope it does go well, but if not, I hope you find somebody who will give you a chance.

Thanks for the advice, really appreciate it

[TheEvilJester]

I am always glad to help, if I can even just in some small way. Good luck, friend.

[rjitktd]

very good interesting temm for me and manis athes piples around me