In Love With Someone Who Makes Me Unhappy...

[Lauren007]

Hi guys--I'm new to this site but I really need some advice. I have been dating this guy for almost 2 years. The first year was perfect, magical--he treated me like a princess. I fell deeply in love with him over the cource of that first year, but throughout the second year, things slowly went downhill. He started developing an attitude with me, he started critisizing practically everything that I do, and he also lies. When he does something that hurts me, I tell him, we talk about it, sometimes we scream about it--but in the end, he says OK, I understand that this hurts you and therefore I won't do it again. Yeah, except he does do these things again. Many times! He loves me to death but all these changes have made me so unhappy. For example, he knows that I get very offended when he puts down my friends. I have heard how much he doesn't like them and I respect that. But I told him that if he has respect for me, he'll stop badmouthing them to me. I told him that if he needs to insult them, do it to their faces. I asked him to stop bitching about them to me. Does he? NO! He says they disrespect him so therefore he will insult them all he wants! WHT?!?! I then say to him, Well when you disrespect them, you are disrespecting me! He does it anyway tho! Its driving me nuts. He just sucks lately. I was really used to being treated like a princess and now I get treated like an unwanted housewife. He loves me and I love him though. Is there any hope?

[mhussain]

hope .... as long as the world revolves there is always hope ... lauren hope never dies ...

he treated you well at the start and then he started taking you for granted ... why did u let him take you for granted?

in ur every word i can see that u love him ... but does that mean letting go of ur dignity ... no .. a hundred times no ..

when he badmouths ur friends ... leave the room or go for a walk ... when he disrespects you .. stop talking to him ... love does not mean ignoring such things ... people in love respct each other not vice versa ...

u love and him and he loves u ... respect is an integral part of love .. respect for each others pains, choices , friends , faults .... but when the faults are bad mouthing for no apparent reason or behind some ones back .. one shouldnt ignore ...

lauren ... he hurts you because u love him so much ... he doesnt realise how luck y he is ... do not let him take u for granted by his actions ...

best of luck

Hussain

[true_love]

Your going through a phase. Who said a relationship has to be perfect and no looking back? There are peaks and lows. Honesty....trust....and communication are what makes a relationship tick. You both need to respect each others opinions. If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it. I'm not real sure the extremity of the situation to fully answer the question. You both love each other so let time take its course. You can't change your friends opinions but you can respect them. Ask them and see what they say about your bf? There is no reason you can't work through this. Good luck!

[misombra]

i say just ignore whenever he bad mouths your friends. don't react at all. it's called extinction. the less he gets a reaction the less he does it.

[Fyesteema4]

I think you guys are giving this guy too much credit. You fell in love with him because he treated you so well and did this and that. What do you love about him now? Are you sure you're not just holding on to the love you had for who he was before?

[snickers]

Obviously you have tried talking to your boyfriend and that hasn't worked. I know that you are going to hate me after i say this, but I can see that your relationship isn't going anywhere. The breakup will be hard, but TRUST ME, you will be happier in the long run. You will find a wonderful guy who truly respects women and will NEVER hurt you, and someone who could truly be considered a potential life-mate. It's a hard place to be, because you love eachother, but think about this. Physical/emotional abuse is NEVER a sign of love. Find TRUE love somewhere else, i promise you will find it

[Cybog]

he hurts you because u love him so much

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

You put too much stock into this "Happy Ever After" that doesn't exist. This relationship is bound for rocky terrain. Only after you have been through life for a few years with someone will you ever get to know who they really are.

The guy you fell in love with early on? This isn't him. He is getting more comfortable around you, and exposing who he really is, which is something you obviously don't like.

Get out, before it gets too hard.

[mhussain]

that cyborg means that because she loves him , that is why his actions hutr her .. if it had been simply affection or a matter of simple dating it wouldnt have hurt so much

Hussain

[Cybog]

I see. I read it as an equation. Thanks for clearing that up.

[shh!]

Maybe this is irrelevant (or maybe not), but what is it about your friends that he doesn't like? I mean, if they are all crack whores or something, I can see why he'd be unhappy about you hanging with them...

[mhussain]

hahahhah sarcasm cybog!!!

[Cybog]

haha no, that wasn't sarcasm this time

I read it as:

because u love him so much = he hurts you

Rather than the way you put it

[mhussain]

ahh ok

thanks for clearing it up

Hussain