Broken

[Move_Along91]

Can't get over her after she broke my heart and I continue to question why, even after so long now. I feel I will never move on, I cannot trust another woman, and this is because I loved her so much. Lately I've been kinda searching up her twitter account after I cut our friendship off because she left me for her ex and was cheating on me with him, it turned out. I always feel so stupid and disgusted, but I know I still love her and it was the right thing to do by letting go of our friendship; she didn't want to end it. I know this is some introduction and is straight to the point, but I just can't get over her because I loved her so much. Even after so long my heart still aches and I'm just so depressed about it. I'm really looking at pictures of her on her twitter account that i should not have looked at. It's been over 180 days since I told her I couldn't be friends with her any longer, and yes I've been counting down like crazy. Again, I feel so stupid for feeling like this because of what she did to me. What in the heck is wrong with me? She's been back with her ex, which was of 5 years or so, for one entire year now. It was around this time I found out she had been cheating, and she had completely left me. And all I can think about is whether or not she misses me or regrets doing what she did to me... My heart does not allow me to move forward; I need help. So disappointed about how I could even still be feeling this way...just doesn't make sense anymore. The pain never goes away.

[woody]

So it's been about a year since you and her called it a day?
Hey, getting over someone takes time. Many say about one year to really start feeling normal again and that's just the start point, sometimes, it can take longer.
But you must take off the rose tinted glasses now and then too. She may be a swell gal and you may respect her in many ways but don't forget, she used you too. She became your Gf when she wasn't even single and didn't tell you about her other bf either. Don't forget about that.

If your seriously dealing with depression, you may be depressed and through this, your projecting the reasons onto this past relationship and while it may be contributing, it also may be that your truly and clinically somewhat 'Blue'. and that needs to be remedied.

I'm sure lots of folks here will tell you to go out and do something new, occupy your time with new stuff and this would be good advice...

I'm sorry your so down but you will get better. Stop dwelling and know the Universe has someone else in mind for you and meanwhile, get that depression taken care of.
EVerything will be alright

[breathe123]

Aha you did, weird you didn't have a post count showing so assumed you didn't make a thread but here it is, this forum acts weird.

I think it's hardest for the one who loved, trusted wanted the relationship more to move on, the old saying time heals all wounds isn't always true & sometimes it always stays with you, all you can do it push it down and not make it as important as it feels. That isn't easy. So I get your pain.

She didn't want to cut off friendship side of relationship because you filled a empty spot in her life, a good loving listener who cared about her, to keep you was only to use you, better for you you let go.

Looking and longing at her pics will only deepen your loss feelings, don't actively look at them.

[Move_Along91]

So it's been about a year since you and her called it a day?
Hey, getting over someone takes time. Many say about one year to really start feeling normal again and that's just the start point, sometimes, it can take longer.
But you must take off the rose tinted glasses now and then too. She may be a swell gal and you may respect her in many ways but don't forget, she used you too. She became your Gf when she wasn't even single and didn't tell you about her other bf either. Don't forget about that.

If your seriously dealing with depression, you may be depressed and through this, your projecting the reasons onto this past relationship and while it may be contributing, it also may be that your truly and clinically somewhat 'Blue'. and that needs to be remedied.

I'm sure lots of folks here will tell you to go out and do something new, occupy your time with new stuff and this would be good advice...

I'm sorry your so down but you will get better. Stop dwelling and know the Universe has someone else in mind for you and meanwhile, get that depression taken care of.
EVerything will be alright

It's been a year since I found out she was back with him, and I had actually cut our relationship off already for about three months. Thought I was over her, but I missed her friendship and just her, so I tried to be friends, but that was stupid of me. I tried to be the mature person by letting her back into my life, and the funny thing is that when I let her back into my life she did some things that made me think she wanted me back. She said she was sorry about what she did after I told her that it wasn't cool of her. She had admitted that she dreamt of me all of the time, and I remember one night towards the end of last school year when she was just physically close to me again. That night I walked her to her car because she was about to leave, and she had her arms wrapped around mine. She was basically playing mind games and said that she just wanted to see what my reaction would be. That's what she said. It wasn't until last August when I ended our friendship and contact completely. I told her I couldn't handle the pain anymore. The pictures I looked at on twitter just made it worse. Saw a pick of her wearing this T-shirt I got her. Just brought up so much after half a year of no contact. I know I'm better now though, and thanks for the advice, really, thank you.

- - - Updated - - -

And maybe I was just her back up guy like you said. That does hurt to hear, but it's honest and I appreciate it. I just couldn't be that empty spot any longer. And, I knew about her ex boyfriend, but she had always told me she wasn't in contact with him. Makes sense why she got so nervous when I touched her phone when I would tease her. It was because she had some guilty texts involving him. I know I deserve better though. It's just that I don't know if I can trust another woman in the future right now still. I've got to give it some more time, and with this time I will continue to work on myself. That's all that can be done. She missed out on me, but someone will hit the jackpot. Thank you for your comments. It means a lot.

[woody]

I think your suffering from lack of closure. I would imagine she does feel badly about how things turned out, her actions and behaviour.
Yes she did miss out on you and that's on her, not you.

Your hurting? Means you've got heart... getting over a betrayal like being cheated on will continue to challenge you but you will get through this.
You will meet a fine woman who is loyal, loving and wonderful. Mote it be so.

[jenniferaniston]

You're well on your way through this journey. Now it's time to start thinking about how she wasn't that great in the first place. You're better than she is. She doesn't appreciate or want what you have to offer. Don't stop giving what you have to offer to the people who do appreciate it. Make the decision to stop being bitter at the world and women in general because they aren't all like she is. The world is not aligned against you. She is not worth those feelings. By the way, oftentimes you were not in love with who this girl really was, but a fantasized version of her.