Fresh break up, confused and need advice please

[Me325]

Hi all
I'll try and make this short and sweet, my boyfriend of nearly a year and I have split. Things were great to start with around 3 months ago I started to moan because he got comfortable and asked continually why he didn't so the things he used too.

I brought up children and marriage quite a bit and started to get a little funny when he was asking about going on lads holidays. He told me it was all too much and needed space. The next day he text me to say he was collecting his things. I asked him if he had time to think, he said yes and hasn't changed his mind. From then on ignored me.

When he arrived to collect his things I asked him if I could have 5 mins of his time. I said I was sorry for being demanding and causing drama in the relationship mainly because he could say I love you but said he felt it. and that this has been a big wake up call, this is very true. He listened but still insisted he was taking his stuff, I tried to talk while he was taking his things to the car, I asked if he had any feelings left for me he said yes or course there is feelings but I need my own time (we lived together) I asked him how much time he needed and he said he couldn't tell me, and if I felt it was too long to move on and that I should contact him after some time has passed.

After he left I noticed he defriended me on FB and removed all our photos, I was angry at this because is just told him how I feel. I text him to ask if what he said earlier was just him mugging me off and that I noticed he removed me from face book. He did reply and said I'm not mugging you off, if I was i would have blocked you and your number, please leave it.

I feel it's my fault for being demanding in other areas this was just one of them I feel I put pressure on the relationship. I don't know if time will change his mind ultimately he said he has to think whether I'm just saying the things I say to get him back or if I've realised my ways. That and if he thinks it's worth it.

I'm highly confused and could really use some perspective please.

[Me325]

Anyone help?

[woody]

Dear Lady,
Well without knowing the extent of these so called 'pressures' you think you placed, I'd have to say and you may not like it but lady, sometimes we become more in love with the idea of love. Sometimes when this happens, we're not with the right person and it takes allot of strength to see this and do right by ourselves.

I think you should recognize the possibility that he may not be the right fit for you. From what you did say, you did nothing wrong. You simply brought a few things up that many would do. Even if he felt it was all too soon, too much, if he was the right fit for you, he wouldn't move his stuff out so quick like that or use such lame excuses.

Don't be played. Pick up your pieces, re arrange your furniture and go out with your friends, have a night out...

[Me325]

It was a lot of pressures about a lot if things.
I feel he needed to escape and be himself which is why he took his things.

I text him about remove me from face book after asking if he was mugging me off and to be honest because I need to know.

He replied with if I was it would have been blocked FB and number. Just leave it please.

He chose to reply, he didn't have to but he did????

[Wakeup]

Why are you confused? He's clearly spelt it out to you so re-read your own post and it will clarify things for you.

Now for my opinion: I think your relationship is toast so don't be hanging around waiting for him to come running back to you. He may come back but it will be for some familiar sex from someone he knows is still hung up on him and who is probably silly enough to give him uncommitted nukie... (that would be you, M325).

Learn a lesson from this and stop moving in with guys if your ultimate goal is marriage. You enable them to have to NOT marry you when you do that because they get what the need without the marriage when you're shacking up.

You're better off without him. If he's not ready to actually give you what you want with him then really, what is the point of keeping him in your life?

Beware of him coming back just to get a leg over while remaining uncommitted to you. If you have sex with him then you'll be also giving him no reason to even commit at all to you.

[Torrent]

i am very sorry for you, but I think he never really loved you, he might have thought that he does in the beginning, but he was confused himself or being an asshole pure and simple. Don't dwell on what you did, trust me, you did nothing wrong and it is completely natural to make future plans and have dreams when you are in a relationship. There are a lot of guys out there who would be the luckiest people alive to have a girl who pushes them to be more then they are and strive for higher.
The only reason that I can see is that he probably got scared not because you pushed something, but because he realized that he is not feeling the same way as you do and he didn't want to waste your time knowing that he could never be what you hoped he would be. I don't know what else to tell you, maybe i'm all wrong about this guy and he was just a jerk who likes to live for free, as you said he moved his stuff out. If that is the case, be very happy that you are free of an asshole, I don't understand what women find in these kind of men anyway.
but I leave you with this, you did nothing wrong, but it is normal to blame yourself, its the need to learn from it something, but there is nothing more to learn then to keep away from assholes. And as someone said earlier, don't let anyone move in before you marry him or at least have a solid plan together and mutual understanding what both of you hope from the future, and I tell you this as a guy, it took me 7 years to understand that women want to marry to feel secure and a part of the family. Men don't think that way, I know I didn't, was my biggest mistake.

[jenniferaniston]

hi,

Don't blame everything on yourself. It will only make you feel worse. Accept responsibility for the things you are guilty for, but remember that it is not all your fault. Be kind to yourself. Do whatever you feel you need to do to comfort yourself. Don't force yourself to do what your friends want you to do. Find someone to talk to about your breakup.