Do you just stop telling your bf or gf that you love them?

[butterfly712]

Well, that's all fine and dandy but words without actions to back them up are just words, so keep that in mind as you remember that he didn't include you in on the fact that he moved somewhere without telling you or seeing what you thought of perhaps living there one day.

He did tell me that he was going to be moving,he just didn't tell me exactly when he was going to until now.

[Wakeup]

He did tell me that he was going to be moving,he just didn't tell me exactly when he was going to until now.

Butterfly, you are making excuses for him so that it appear to you in your own mind that you mean more to him then he's acting.

This it what you said:

my bf is the same way,he went to Michigan and didn't tell me he was going to be going,he did tell me that he's going to be moving there,he got a job position there working at the company he works for,now he told me that he's going to be moving there sooner,I tried asking him when he's going to be moving there,he didn't answer me.

and even if he told you that he would be moving there, he didn't tell you he was going there before he went nor did he tell you when he would be moving there. In otherwords, he is not including you in on life changing events that will affect YOU as well as him. Love, marriage and even just living together entail being joint partners in life and him including you in on such important matters.

Unless you are Indian and just expected to do what your male partner does regardless of your own wishes, then I recommend that you don't discount red flags as being red because it appeases you to do so. You're talking about your LIFE and emotional security so make sure you know, without a doubt where you stand and that you have a say in your own life.

Even if you are okay to move wherever the fk he takes you, you should still be advised of his plans as he is made aware of them himself. Five months is like five days when it comes to long distant relationship because you don't see one another very often and the majority of your relationship is based on words without actual action to back them up. If he does keep you in his life after he moves then best keep in mind you don't even yet know who he really is and you couldn't possibly in a short five days.

Good luck.

[TheEvilJester]

Agreed with everything Wakeup has to say here. If you two are boyfriend and girlfriend, then there is absolutely no reason he shouldn't have at least talked to you about the possibility that he may move. Heck, if it meant you two wouldn't work out, then that would be something you would have to explore at the time. If he truly cared about you, though, he would want to talk to you about it to at least hear your thoughts and feelings on the idea. If he truly cared, he should at least want to take you opinion into account. Granted, that doesn't mean you should get ultimate veto power. If he wants to move for his own personal reasons, but that doesn't work for you, then it could perhaps mean that you two may not work out. That would be a shame, but at least you'd come to the decision together.

Without telling you first, (and without even telling you if/when this is actually happening) he didn't allow you to weight in at all. Personally, if I were you, that would make me feel like he didn't care how I felt about it one way or the other.

If you two haven't been together for very long and aren't really "boyfriend and girlfriend" yet, that is perhaps a slightly different story. Still, I think if I were dating somebody I'd at least tell them when I started thinking about moving. Why not bring it up early in the dating relationship? If it would wind up being make or break, it would be better to know that before you got too serious.

[jenniferaniston]

You should talk to him about this as if he loves you or not ask him...If still he didin't give you any answer then you should move on...as you are wasting your time and feeling to a wrong guy.