Insight, Por Favor!

[asdfg]

Hi!

I'm in a pickle, and I'm risking a lot of things for the girl of my dreams.

I like a girl who's been my friend for about four years. We have amazing chemistry when we hang out, and she really seems to enjoy my incredibly childish humor. I feel we have a strong connection to one another and it's time to take the leap of faith.

Our meetups have always been more like dates than "friendly hangouts"; with lots of flirting and the occasional sexual humor, alas, without feelings conveyed verbally. There's a few things I'm concerned about.

I'd love some input from you ladies out there whether you'd do these things with the platonic really good friend, or someone you feel genuinely attracted to (note that some of the mentioned things are really silly, but bear with me here..):

-We have this thing when we playfully have a "poke war" where we poke each other's bellies while lying on the bed, usually ending up with us entwined around one another, and usually stay like that for a while.

-We watch solely boy-meets-girl animations and classic disney movies. You know the ones. On my bed. It's always been a tradition whenever we pick a movie to watch.

-We jokingly visited a sex shop together when we were out on a walk, and had a blast.

-I took her sledding one evening and we only found one pathetic excuse for a sled (one of those round single-person sleds, about 60cm in diameter). We said **** it and spent the following three hours experimenting all the different ways how two people can fit on the damn thing, including with her in my arms, and other ambiguous positions. One time I accidentally grabbed her boob as things were going south, with the sled spinning uncontrollably as we were about to crash into some trees. The dunce I am realized it after we had already reached the bottom. She was just laughing and didn't seem to mind at all.

We often go to the movies, for walks in the park, cafes, etc. Our conversations are flirty and you can feel the tension in the air. We have our little awkward silences when one of us accidentally says something that could be interpreted sexually, and we end up laughing like idiots or end up escalating the joke. When we hug we caress each other and every time I've grabbed her hand she's never flinched away.

These are just some of the things we do together, and I feel bliss in every moment with her.

By the way, she never talks about really personal problems, other guys, call me her brother or friend, or the "usual" stuff that girls would tell their friend-zoned pals.

By the signs she's giving off, I'd wager she's into me, but I need insight from a third party. So please express your opinions.

We're 20 by the way.



You might be wondering why I haven't asked her out yet. Here's the kicker:

She's my good friends' ex, with whom she is in great relations with. Us three used to hang out in the past when they were still together, so there's a lot of feelings that could be hurt if we'd get together. I think she's into me, but her past relationship with my friend is the reason I've felt too guilty to escalate any further, and I'm afraid it holds her back from wanting to do anything with me either.

I need to hear her feelings towards me because this has been on my mind for over two years now, but I've wanted to give more time for my friend and her to get over their break-up.

Regarding my friends' possible reactions, I feel that (and quote) you can't own people; you just spend time with them. It's my own business who I decide to date in my life, and he has to get over the fact that it's over. If he has good memories with her, I hope he cherishes them, but it shouldn't be a reason to deny someone else happiness. If the girl would respond positively to my feelings, I'd call my friend and try to explain to him how I feel and try to talk things over with him.

What do you think?

[Wakeup]

Did she break up with him or did he break up with her? If he broke up with her then to hell with even worrying about that... Just tell him once you talk to her and she agrees that she has more then platonic feelings for you. If she doesn't agree then stop crossing platonic friend boundaries with one another. You'll just stagnate yourself from finding someone that does want to be your gf and that girl will NOT like you acting like that with your so called "friend."

If she broke up with him then (if she wants to be your gf) expect him to dump you. If he doesn't, then bonus.

[JChristie]

generally, i agree with wakeup. it seems like you have been pretty much a gentleman. does your friend know that you hang out with his ex- on a regular basis? if so, he may suspect you have feelings for the girl. great idea to get a general indication if she feels the way you do before mentioning to your friend.

it is remotely possible that she has no idea that you like her. i recommend compliments and caution, but definitely take action.

[smackie9]

Just ask her out and get it over with. And stop lying in bed with her if you are not going to have sex for f sakes. Nothing worse than creating fuzzy borders.