what's the reason for aversion?

[TheEvilJester]

Like I said, half the time we don't know how a guy would react to outright rejection so a lot of women err on the side of caution. Another reason they give out a number and then lose interest because by the time a guy has called, we've lost interest or the thrill of the flirtation that night has lost it's shine by the light of day.

Things are not going to change Jester (its been like that since I was in my 20s anyway) so might as well NOT expect that getting a girls number is a sure thing.

I don't think I ever said, or implied that getting a girl's number was a sure thing. If I did, it was certainly not my intention. I'm just saying, I would assume getting a girl's number is a good first sign (unless, of course, she gave you a fake number). I would assume a girl wouldn't give you her number unless she actually had interest in you using it. I could be wrong, though. I mean, I know it may be different for guys, but I know if somebody asked me for my number and I wasn't really interested I sure as heck wouldn't give them my number. That even goes for somebody who maybe is a friend or acquaintance (male or female) that maybe I don't necessarily want having my phone number. I'd maybe give them my e-mail instead with an excuse like "To be honest, I almost never use my phone other than for business," or something to that effect.

That said, I certainly can understand erring on the side of caution. Especially in this day and age. I'm also a lot more no-nonsense than most people. I realize that. So, I will say it may just be that I do not necessarily understand the situation. May be one of those things where you kind of had to be part of the situation to really know.

[smackie9]

Most girls/women are nonconfronational and worry about hurting feelings so that's why they play along until they are out of site, out of reach, ignore your calls or give excuses to soften the blow. Did it when I was a young teenager because I had some bad experiences with a few nasty sore losers. As I got more experienced, I learned to not care, and just be blunt.

[TheEvilJester]

Kind of my point, actually. That is the sort of thing young folks do because either A) they are immature and don't mind playing games with people or B) they think it is the nicer way to deal with it and not hurt the person's feelings. Once you are what most would consider an adult, you tend to be mature enough to realize it is much less hurtful in the long run to just be honest up front. You hurt the person a lot more by stringing them along. I would expect that from somebody very young, but as an adult I would hope people would mature.

But, again, maybe that is giving people too much credit. Funny problem for me to have, since my trust in humans is virtually non-existent these days, and for good reason. Perhaps women have typically had unfortunate enough experiences with guys to learn that it can be safer/better to act this way, even if it does risk stringing along somebody who doesn't deserve to be played with at all.

[Wakeup]

Are you kindding? My female friend in currently dating from online and when she politely declines a LOT of men then become abusive. I've told her to not say anything and just block the C-suckers so that's what she does now. After being verbally abused by asswipes over email I highly doubt she's going to reject them face to face if they get as far as a first date with her.

It doesn't matter how old one is... the same stuff goes on in the old as it does in the young. She's 48 by the way.

[smackie9]

So f uckin glad I'm married......I am truly blessed

[Wakeup]

Amen, sistah, amen.

[TheEvilJester]

Are you kindding? My female friend in currently dating from online and when she politely declines a LOT of men then become abusive. I've told her to not say anything and just block the C-suckers so that's what she does now. After being verbally abused by asswipes over email I highly doubt she's going to reject them face to face if they get as far as a first date with her.

It doesn't matter how old one is... the same stuff goes on in the old as it does in the young. She's 48 by the way.

Touche (which I always thought sounded like a French way to say "tushy." :-P ) Still, online tends to be different. The Internet brings out the a-holes, bastards, and douche bags because they aren't afraid to be the worthless piles of pig excrement they are since they can hide behind the anonymity of the Interwebs. Heck, even on dating sites where you tend to post your pictures, general location, and a bunch of info about you, it is still pretty much anonymous.

Thinking about that kind of p*$$e$ me off, though. When it comes to dating sites, I'd much rather a girl I try to contact just answer back to let me know she is not interested. I don't care if she actually has a legit excuse (maybe she already started dating a guy and wants to see where that goes) or even just makes up a legit sounding excuse. Heck, I don't even care if she is needlessly nasty. I'd rather get a message saying "Why would I go out with an ugly creature like you" then to just flat out be ignored. So, it really p*$$e$ me off to hear that my gender has ruined that by being a-holes. Personally, any time I get a polite rejection from somebody on those sites, I respond with a final message to say I appreciate it and good luck to them. Because, honestly, I do appreciate it.

[Wakeup]

Well, you can thank the A-holes for causing women not to bother with the niceties.

[TablesandChairs]

You said two words to her during the 4 hour date you had? If I read that correctly...then I'm guessing she's thinking there's no connection. I would have left within an hour...I mean, what's the point of asking a girl on a date and then proceeding not to talk to her? Unless I'm missing something...

Work on your shyness etc. and women should be more receptive.

[TheEvilJester]

You said two words to her during the 4 hour date you had? If I read that correctly...then I'm guessing she's thinking there's no connection. I would have left within an hour...I mean, what's the point of asking a girl on a date and then proceeding not to talk to her? Unless I'm missing something...

It makes you seem mysterious. LOL!

I'm kidding, of course. Agreed on that front. If you ask a girl out, but then barely talk to her, I don't see how you could expect her to continue to have interest. Still, in this case it wasn't like he was that quiet on their date. They never even made it to a date. Could be, though, that he unintentionally made himself seem a bit awkward and it turned her off. Still, unless there is more to the story, if she ever actually intended to go out with him, I don't see why anything he described would be enough to change her mind from at least giving him a chance. Most likely, I am thinking she never really sincerely intended to go out with him in the first place.