Am I a jealous person?

[Trynonymous]

I've seen a few long relationships. During the longest (6+ years) I was never really jealous about anything (except that one time, when she had a guy buzzing around her, and she didn't do anything about it, but let him). We came and went as we liked, worked different shifts, and we trusted one another completely. She always wore make up to work, and if she went out, I had no problem with it. It was a daily part of her life.

Now I've been in a new relationship for a year or so. She never really focused on her looks too much, except when we went out together (in the beginning), then that stopped (this is normal as relationships evolve). As it is rare for her to pay attention to her looks (she doesn't wear make up or wear "nice" clothes to work either) , I always notice when she does. A few times I've commented on this along the lines "what's the big occasion?". She never wears any make up for me, or wears nice clothes, or anything. Last summer she suddenly wore a thin dress and strings while visiting a male friend of her's (alone). I told her I felt a sting of jealousy then. She stopped doing that. She also stopped wearing any make up completely (I didn't ask her to). Now she's focusing more on her looks again, hair extensions and whatnot. It seems we've gotten ourselves in a bit of trouble, as she is instantly annoyed by me asking (as she almost never enhances her looks, i always notice when she does). I would like her to do those things for me, too. Not just when she's going out, or meeting her friends (male or female). Once or twice now and then would make me feel more appreciated. Is this jealousy?

All I did was ask her if her hair extensions were still all good after her sleeping through a night with them on. Now we're having a fight, and she said "You're clearly suggesting that I'm whoring around town" (something tells me this is about my sting of jealousy about her wearing nice shit for others).

This is very tiring. Suggestions? Should I ignore stuff like this? Otherwise there's no signals or anything suggesting anything that would make me actually jealous in a way that I recognize.

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...in other words, I suppose I do feel a sting of something (whatever it may be?), whenever she suddenly focuses on her own looks more (and I know it's not for me this time, either). I notice it every single time. Telling her she's beautiful won't do any good, but when I ask a question it's like we're in some kind of Soviet Russia interrogation all of a sudden. Could be for herself, too. The thing is, she's annoyed whenever I bring stuff like this up, and it annoys me because I can't really do anything about it. I want her to make herself feel more like a woman, but I'd very much like her to do it for me too (at least more often than her male friends).

[breathe123]

IDK if just a tinge of jealousy but definitely a lot of suspicion & maybe rightfully so. She should want to do that for you, without you even asking, imo. I'd rather look nice for my BF over any male friends, for certain.

You might have struck at her guilty conscience with that reply of hers back. Hard to tell, but be alert anyhow, maybe go out with her next few times.