A Year - Can I Get Him Back?

[Xox-Zip-xoX]

This is what I originally posted.

1 . Did he block you after because he was scared you'd out what you did even if by innocence to the new gal? Remember sketchy does things to protect their sketchiness.

2. What did his new text tell you? Obviously he doesn't know you know the new info yet, or does he?

3. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you, remember that fact always. Maybe better to move on from each other now, can you ONLY be his friend without romantic feels?

1. No, he deactivated his old Facebook several months before he contacted me again, than created a completely new one that I am blocked from.

2. He basically just sent a morning text and explained that the reason he hadn't text me was because he had to send his phone in to get repaired (it actually was on it's last leg when I hung out with him) As far as I am aware he has no idea that I know about the facebook or this new girl.

3. Its actually kind funny, I never used to believe in accusations like this. I USED to believe that if a guy cheats on a girl once, he will cheat on the same girl again, however, I DIDN'T believe that said guy would cheat on every girl he is with after that - being in the situation makes me question those believes though. I don't know what I think anymore.

@ Xox-Zip-xoX I knew it, that another girl was involved when he took a vacation from talking to you

[MENTION=78034]breathe123[/MENTION] - The thing is he has cut contact from me several times in the past, and I am certain there was no other girls involved during those times so I didn't really see it coming this time, however I knew this time was different just by the way he was acting. He didn't seem like his usual happy self.


I know this might sound crazy, but I didn't expect him to text me again for a while, in the past he wouldn't have text me for a few months, so the fact that he did is a big deal for me.

[Xox-Zip-xoX]

It keeps eating my postssss D:

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This is what I originally posted.
[MENTION=76419]anya_may21[/MENTION]
1 Did he block you after becase he was scared you'd out what you did even if by innocence to the new gal? Remember sketchy does things to protect their sketchiness.
No, he deactivated his old Facebook several months before he contacted me again, than created a completely new one that I am blocked from.

2. What did his new text tell you? Obviously he doesn't know you know the new info yet, or does he?
He basically just sent a morning text and explained that the reason he hadn't text me was because he had to send his phone in to get repaired (it actually was on it's last leg when I hung out with him) As far as I am aware he has no idea that I know about the facebook or this new girl.

3. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you, remember that fact always. Maybe better to move on from each other now, can you ONLY be his friend without romantic feels?
Its actually kind funny, I never used to believe in accusations like this. I USED to believe that if a guy cheats on a girl once, he will cheat on the same girl again, however, I DIDN'T believe that said guy would cheat on every girl he is with after that - being in the situation makes me question those believes though. I don't know what I think anymore.

Breathe Said: I knew it, that another girl was involved when he took a vacation from talking to you
[MENTION=78034]breathe123[/MENTION] - The thing is he has cut contact from me several times in the past, and I am certain there was no other girls involved during those times so I didn't really see it coming this time, however I knew this time was different just by the way he was acting. He didn't seem like his usual happy self.


I know this might sound crazy, but I didn't expect him to text me again for a while, so the fact that he did really is a big deal for me. I still haven't responded to him, though a part of me feels like I should simply because it seems like he's making an effort by keeping in contact this time around, but than there is the fact that he lied. I'm torn.

[Xox-Zip-xoX]

He's not a bad guy, he's a very confused guy. It's obvious he is still hung up on you so bad even tho he tried to move on with this other girl, it wasn't enough to stop him from seeing you. This girl he is seeing is just a rebound, you are the one he wants to be with. The trouble is you have been so indecisive, insecure, up and down with him, it has him pretty messed up. I bet his friends have been telling him to move on, go out date girls but he can't help himself. He's not a cheating lying bastard, being some kind of player, not at all. People in love get desperate, don't make the best decisions....He's desperate, you make him desperate, desperate for things to be as they were, and keeps living on that hope. Hope is why he won't tell you about this girl. He doesn't want to mess anything up if there is any hope getting back together. Remember this is the state of mind he is in.

So I have to ask you, Xox-Zip-xoX I, What do you truly want? What do you want with him? What do you want in life? Where do you see yourself 1, 2 3 years from now? Do you really have any idea or direction? You need to get your s hit together on this. Make up your bloody mind, and communicate with him, and stop playing games. If you know about this other girl, just confront him about it, but do it with understanding that he is confused. if you talk it out, you can work it out.

THIS!
This is what I have felt the entire time, however I have had so many people telling me that he is no good, or that "once a cheater always a cheater' that I am starting to second guess everything. I honestly believe he is just confused. When my mom was still alive she would tell me the same thing. I feel like if people were to see the situation from my perspective, after being in the relationship they would view it this way as well.

I don't think I have been indecisive. I've known what I wanted from the beginning, but that doesn't necessarily mean he does, or that he knew I did. There have been times were he has cut contact, than got back in contact and things honestly seemed like we were going to get back together, but time would go by, and he wouldn't make that next move and so I'd get impatient and upset and very visibly pull away from him.

[smackie9]

The very problem is, is that you don't communicate with him. See him and lay it all out on the line with him. Confront him about everything, this girl, his behavior, etc. You can't have a bunch of strangers on the net answer your questions properly. You have to directly go to the source and that is him. You don't need us.

[Xox-Zip-xoX]

I'm not sure why but it keeps eating all of my posts with quotes in them. :/

[anya_may21]

It shows a lot of deleted posts in my quotes, not sure why it keeps doing that to your posts.

Maybe write your posts in notepad and just copy paste it into the forum reply box after and put @ to each person you want to address, it shouldn't delete that because not using quote functions then.

Have you had a good chat with him?

[Xox-Zip-xoX]

Okay, lets try this again. What I have been trying to say is...

[MENTION=76419]anya_may21[/MENTION]

1. "Did he block you after because he was scared you'd out what you did even if by innocence to the new gal?"
No. He deactivated his old facebook a few months ago during one of our no-contact periods and then made a new one that I am blocked from. All of this went down before he contacted me again.

2. "What did his new text tell you? Obviously he doesn't know you know the new info yet, or does he?"
It was just a good morning text and him apologizing for not texting me the couple days earlier. He said he had to send his phone in to get repaired (It actually was on it's last leg when we hung out)
As far as I know he has no idea that I know about the new girl or the facebook

3. "If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you. Remember that fact."
You know, prior to this whole situation I would have said that I hate accusations like that. I believed that if a guy cheated on a girl, he would cheat on said girl again - yeah. However, I didn't believe that it necessarily meant he would cheat on every girl he was with after that - Of course, being in the situation completely changes your perspective. I don't know what my thoughts on cheating are any more.

[MENTION=78034]breathe123[/MENTION]
"I knew it, that there was another girl involved when he took a vacation from talking to you."
The thing is he has been doing this for a year and I am CERTAIN there was no one else involved any of the past times. The only thing that tipped me off that someone else was involved this time around was the the way he was acting the last time we hung out - it was significantly different any of the past times him and I got together, he didn't seem like his usual happy self. He was just off and I couldn't put my finger on it.

[Wakeup]

a year - can i get him back?

... No ...

[smackie9]

Okay, lets try this again. What I have been trying to say is...

[MENTION=76419]anya_may21[/MENTION]

1. "Did he block you after because he was scared you'd out what you did even if by innocence to the new gal?"
No. He deactivated his old facebook a few months ago during one of our no-contact periods and then made a new one that I am blocked from. All of this went down before he contacted me again.

2. "What did his new text tell you? Obviously he doesn't know you know the new info yet, or does he?"
It was just a good morning text and him apologizing for not texting me the couple days earlier. He said he had to send his phone in to get repaired (It actually was on it's last leg when we hung out)
As far as I know he has no idea that I know about the new girl or the facebook

3. "If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you. Remember that fact."
You know, prior to this whole situation I would have said that I hate accusations like that. I believed that if a guy cheated on a girl, he would cheat on said girl again - yeah. However, I didn't believe that it necessarily meant he would cheat on every girl he was with after that - Of course, being in the situation completely changes your perspective. I don't know what my thoughts on cheating are any more.

[MENTION=78034]breathe123[/MENTION]
"I knew it, that there was another girl involved when he took a vacation from talking to you."
The thing is he has been doing this for a year and I am CERTAIN there was no one else involved any of the past times. The only thing that tipped me off that someone else was involved this time around was the the way he was acting the last time we hung out - it was significantly different any of the past times him and I got together, he didn't seem like his usual happy self. He was just off and I couldn't put my finger on it.

So obviously you haven't taken my advice. Stop wasting your time justifying, or answering peoples quotes....you are just dragging your heels. If you want answers go confront him. Whatever the results, at least you cleared the air and you can go forward or move on.

[Xox-Zip-xoX]

It shows a lot of deleted posts in my quotes, not sure why it keeps doing that to your posts.

Maybe write your posts in notepad and just copy paste it into the forum reply box after and put @ to each person you want to address, it shouldn't delete that because not using quote functions then.

Have you had a good chat with him?

I actually tried that in one of the third time I tried posting it and I got a pop up saying that the post was waiting for mod approval before being posted. I contacted a mod and it looks like it has gone through now though

- - - Updated - - -

So obviously you haven't taken my advice. Stop wasting your time justifying, or answering peoples quotes....you are just dragging your heels. If you want answers go confront him. Whatever the results, at least you cleared the air and you can go forward or move on.

I'm not sure why you are so quick to assume I haven't taken your advice. I posted that along with several variations of the same post over a week ago BEFORE you ever joined the conversation. None of them went through until now - It's not a new post. Even if it were a new post, I'm not just going to ignore other peoples questions or responses just because you have given me advice. I want all the help I can get, and I am going to take all the advice I can.

[smackie9]

Talk - action = 0

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... No ...

Agree with this.

[dollhouse]

In reading, it's possible after a year break up you might but why go backwards, should go forward with another guy but if you want try to salvage a friendship with your ex.

[Wakeup]

In reading, it's possible after a year break up you might but why go backwards, should go forward with another guy but if you want try to salvage a friendship with your ex.

Never settle for a friendship when you want more.
Never lower yourself to accept being demoted from lover-and-friend-and equal partner to "just friend" that's a very sure way for you to lose all motivation to find a man that will give you it all.

[breathe123]

Okay, lets try this again. What I have been trying to say is...

[MENTION=76419]anya_may21[/MENTION]

1. "Did he block you after because he was scared you'd out what you did even if by innocence to the new gal?"
No. He deactivated his old facebook a few months ago during one of our no-contact periods and then made a new one that I am blocked from. All of this went down before he contacted me again.

2. "What did his new text tell you? Obviously he doesn't know you know the new info yet, or does he?"
It was just a good morning text and him apologizing for not texting me the couple days earlier. He said he had to send his phone in to get repaired (It actually was on it's last leg when we hung out)
As far as I know he has no idea that I know about the new girl or the facebook

3. "If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you. Remember that fact."
You know, prior to this whole situation I would have said that I hate accusations like that. I believed that if a guy cheated on a girl, he would cheat on said girl again - yeah. However, I didn't believe that it necessarily meant he would cheat on every girl he was with after that - Of course, being in the situation completely changes your perspective. I don't know what my thoughts on cheating are any more.

[MENTION=78034]breathe123[/MENTION]
"I knew it, that there was another girl involved when he took a vacation from talking to you."
The thing is he has been doing this for a year and I am CERTAIN there was no one else involved any of the past times. The only thing that tipped me off that someone else was involved this time around was the the way he was acting the last time we hung out - it was significantly different any of the past times him and I got together, he didn't seem like his usual happy self. He was just off and I couldn't put my finger on it.

Did the admin tell you why your quotes won't go through? Maybe you can only quote so many until you make regular user here?

Does it hurt you when he goes silent for long periods, do you ever reach out & he ignores or you give him space then & don't try until he contacts again?

How do you now feel he cheated with you, change your feelings on him, strengthens them, the same feelings? Next time you both see each in person, let him know you know, o-k? lay out all of it, clear the air.

[dollhouse]

[MENTION=52694]Wakeup[/MENTION]
They didn't have a bad break up, or a cheater involved so they can move on, unlike say, me and my situation( we won't ever be friends)I did say when it comes to dating him again, don't but friends if they can work it out, is possible. It is never settling if you want that as well.
Hope it works out in whichever way.