In love with my teacher

[thephilman]

Hello all and Merry Christmas!

I'm writing this for two reasons; I would both like to just write about this, and get some advice on it.

I'm 25 years old and I finished my MA this year. I'm learning a foreign language for the last years. My teacher is 40 years old, divorced, mother of a son who finishes school soon.

From the very first time I saw my teacher, I fell in love with her. She is very kind and sweet, her teaching has a slight theatricality and she has a charming personality . She, personally, was the reason why I kept on studying this language.She a native speaker and she moved to my country some years ago.

During the first year we had group lesson. Last year we decided to turn to private lessons (with her, another woman and me). The climate was pleasant and friendly. Every time after the lesson, she was going to her work by car and I was going with her, as my house was somewere in the route.

After some months we changed the day of the lesson and we stopped "travelling together" by her car. Some days before this happens I remember me having stayed back (the other woman had left) waiting to go with her. Her mother asked in their language why I was going with her, my teacher responded "why not? his house is on my way". Her mother is not very happy when she sees me.

With my teacher we are also friends on Facebook. She has "liked" all my pictures and commented in most of them. Last Spring I was going to a presentation in which I knew she was interested. I asked her if she wanted to come and she came.

I like this woman. I like watching her, hearing her read, looking at her bright eyes and talking to her. I like seing her always heartfelt wishes. I would like to be with her. I know that the age difference is big, but this is not insurmountable, right? What do you think that would happen if I talked to her about my feelings?

Thank you for reading all the above.

[smackie9]

You never ever express your feelings....that's the wrong thing to do. If you like someone you just ask them out on a date. Don't be surprised she says she's very flattered but the answer is no. I'm sure this isn't the first time she had a bright eyed bushy tailed student show an interest in her.

[thephilman]

Thank you for answering, smackie9

But, if I ask her on a date and she says no, won't this ruin our whole relation? I mean...after this, I doubt that we can even keep on doing the lessons. It will be embarassing.

You are also right that this is not the first time a student of her likes her. She once mentioned that she was avoiding another one, old student of hers, who was asking her on a date in a very persistent way.

[smackie9]

Well guess what. That was her way of putting it out there not to bother asking her out or she wouldn't have mentioned it. Women can be very subtle about getting a message across....it would be in your best interest to keep your distance and just admire her from afar.

She's an intelligent woman and know she needs a more mature man that is at the same place in life as she, older, more establish, experienced with relationships, possibly been married and a father. These are things she would be looking for.

[thephilman]

All the above sound sensible. And thank you once again. I would like to say some more things about these, but I'm afraid I would be tiring.

I would just like to add that she mentioned this because she called by mistake this guy after months of ignoring him, instead of calling me, because we have the same name.

[dontaskme]

There are policies that govern professionals and I'm pretty sure that professors are one of those professions. You cannot date a current client, a student, a patient, etc. That professional can be fired from the job or can face legal consequences.

I don't know about your country but it is certainly unprofessional for your teacher to date a current student and she probably knows that, thus, discouraged the other student from flirting with her.