No way to know what she's thinking. Complicated situation

[Jaspur789]

I'll try to make this as quick as possible.. So I met this girl on Facebook June 2013 and we flirted on and off for a full year until we actually started hanging out and it turned serious for no apparent reason. We live about an hour apart and she's 22, I'm 23. We've been talking very seriously for 6 months now with no title to our relationship. I asked once after 3 months and she said she doesn't want to rush into anything so I haven't asked again yet. She is the girl of my dreams and I know many of you will disagree but she is way above the quality of most girls. She did some modeling, runs her own horse training business, has great priorities and is the funnest person. Frankly I'm pretty sure she's out of my league lol. But I never let her know that and always show confidence. Well things went great until we started to get physical for the first time, she intimidates the hell out of me... When putting a condom on, I was so nervous I lost my erection in 2 seconds. I told her it was just nerves and she seemed to understand although I'm sure she was very turned off. We continued like nothing happened and tried again a few weeks later when I thought I had shit figured out but when I was under the spotlight again I was terrified it might happen again which killed my erection once again. This time she felt so disappointed that she told me a week later that she wants to take a few steps back and that she's not interested in guys at the moment. I backed off and two weeks later she's right back to texting and calling me every day like normal. And she is extremely sweet to me and caring but has weird habit of expecting me to know she cares though she never tells me. But she doesn't ever want to hang out? She always goes out with her friends and even bails on our plans to go to the bar with her girl friends instead. I don't think she's lying about what she's doing because she snapchats me constantly so I always know what she's actually up to and she even drunk dials me at the end of her night out. She gives me almost all of her time every day through text or calling but will never try to see me. Also one conversation we had led to her telling me she's terrified of being intimate with me at the moment in fear of being let down again because she feels its her fault I go soft even though I made it very clear how attracted I am to her and she said she's not interested in sex with me or anybody right now but she gets strong cravings and takes care of herself manually. I'm scared to say but I'm in love with this girl. Why does she enjoy talking to me on the phone for hours every night but won't see me? Why is she not interested in sex? What should I do? We have not met eachothers parents yet but have met all of our friends. We know every detail about eachother like we've been together for years. But believe me our conversations are not dull whatsoever. If you saw us together you'd think were still in a honeymoon stage.i feel like a girl of this magnitude is worth the effort and stress but I'm getting lost. By the way I've never kept a girl around for more than a month before so 6 months must mean something about her means a lot to me. Also we talked before about our intentions and she told me she does want it to go some where and she looks forward to being with me just not right now. And that she considers herself my girlfriend but just doesn't want the label yet. I feel that the lack of sex has killed her labido and her confidence in being serious with me or something. Ladies... Please help me understand what she's doing. I care about her a lot and she said one time recently that she cares about me more than I think. Thanks.

[alzath]

First of all I'm a guy but I have a similar situation as you... In my opinion you must have much more confidence, and you don't have to think that you are not worth her anymore, because she'd feel it someday, and that's not good for you... And you know, don't be so shy, I think you don't have a confidence and this kills your sex and relationship. Find your hobby, go to the gym, it's really helpful ! And don't say to her she's that only one, even if you know that. Women like to fight for men same as us. And if she wants to stop it now so you should stop too, but for a while and after that break you'll have more confidence and she'd be missed you too. Sorry for my English but I'm from Poland, cheers !

[smackie9]

Meh....you got friend zoned.

[Sags]

Well i just think that she has lost confidence in herself to pleasure you. I would be quiet upset if this happened to me and maybe thats what she might be feeling. I think you should try to take it slow sexually, and go and talk to her and ask for an explanation for this behaviour.