I'm in a bit of a love triangle and need some help. It's really confusing to me, and I don't know what to do right now. I love both females, but each for different reasons.
I'm going to try to shorten this story up as much as possible. I met my current girlfriend, (MiSharee) when I was 14. She was 13. We've been together 5 years off and on. Three years ago, we took a break because her parents weren't feeling me. But they never have. (I don't that will change now.) Anyways, it was at a family function (birthday party, I believe) that I met this amazing girl (Ceyanna). My girlfriend was there, too. As well as, both of my cousins. I couldn't stop staring at her. I paid attention to my girlfriend too, but I wasn't giving her the attention I would give her if I had been focused on her and not on this new girl. As it became night, my girlfriend left and that's when I started to talk to the new girl. I didn't necessarily feel bad about it, but I knew that it was semi wrong. But mind you, we were on break. I started talking to the new girl and at first things were nice. Whenever we would see each other, it was so much fun. We would talk about whatever came to mind. We would kiss and hug and what-not. It was good. But I had doubts about being with her. I'm not necessarily the player type so I knew I couldn't bring myself to make it official with this new girl until I decided whether or not I wanted my current girlfriend who I wasn't with at the time. As time went on, I was around 16 when I started finally dating the new girl. But something in me couldn't fully commit to her. So when I went to military school, we broke up. And stopped talking for the most part; only on occasion. Fast forward, two years later and I'm current with my girlfriend officially and full-heartedly. But for some reason, I feel like there's things missing in a relationship that is a NEED more so than a "you can do without" type of thing. For example, with my current girlfriend, I can't talk to her like I want to. When I do, its around other people or her parents are nearby and make it hard for me to say what I want to really say to her. On top of the fact that her parents are over-protective. And I don't mean the simple kind of over-protective, I mean they go to the extreme's. Especially, when I'm around. Another example, she doesn't have a phone. She can't have social media, unless she sneaks and creates it. They just make it all around hard for us to talk or even be around each other. A relationship can't survive on thin air. And that's what it feels like right now. I feel like we're being treated like we're 10 and 9 by her own parents. And I have to conform to their restrictions by default, when in actuality, she's 18 and I'm 19. It's ridiculous. We're adults and we should be able to talk, hug/kiss, etc like young adults would.
Aside from the issues with my current relationship, I'm having mixed feelings about staying with her. Recently, I started to talking to the new girl again. We've established that we miss each other, but haven't jumped into making a relationship because she knows I'm with my current girlfriend. They don't like each other and I understand why. Sometimes we argue, and we're "friends", but we don't act like we're friends. Friends don't call each other baby or say I love you. Or spend hours on the phone talking until you fall asleep. She wants to be with me. And I think I feel the same, but I feel like if I let go of my current girlfriend I might miss out on what our future COULD BE. Right now, our relationship is crappy and most people wouldn't even call it a relationship due to all of the parameters and restrictions. The restrictions aren't my own, but I have to deal with them to be involved with her at all. With the other girl, it wouldn't be like this. And I know for a fact, it wouldn't be. This is becoming hard to deal with and I need help. I can't talk to her about it because I can sense her getting upset everytime I mention my current girlfriend's name. On one hand, I've been through a lot with both. More so with the other girl because she's put up with me running her in circles for four years now. And my current girlfriend simply believes that I'm so caught up in being with her that I don't want anyone else. But I hate breaking it off with her because I can't stand to her upset/sad and/or anything like that. I need help with making my decision. I can't take this "thin air" bullshit I seem to call a relationship much longer. It's making me crazy and damn near dysfunctional. I love her to death, but I need more. I need to be able to talk to her without her parents flipping out. I need to be able to hug her and kiss her without feeling like I'm going to get in trouble for getting her trouble. I can't even call her on the house phone and talk to her because I know for a fact her parents would stand over her shoulder and listen to her conversation. I need help. What should I do?
P.S.
We've tried talking to my girlfriend's parents about loosening up a bit and not keeping her locked down so much. But they believe their methods of parenting are solid, of course. You can't keep someone locked down like this forever. It makes them crazy and will probably have that person resenting them. I don't know what to do at this point. I've tried coming at them direct before and they don't like the idea of us even being friends almost let alone together. We basically have to keep our relationship on the "down low", which makes me feel like I'm not in a relationship at all. I just want to be happy. Please help!