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Thread: Unsure What To Do

  1. #1
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    Unsure What To Do

    Really unsure what to do.
    My female friend who I adore has just ended her relationship,
    They were going out for just about a year.
    Her now exbf was in my opinion an ass - he cheated on her in the beginning,
    I reckon during, and most recentley the weekend of their breakup (why she ended it).

    I have had overwhelming feelings for her for about 2yrs, we just click
    [you know - same likes; cats, tv, films, food (we ordered the same thing funnily)]

    I want to tell her but I dunno how she feels, it might wreck our friendship.

    Any ideas?

    Thanks

    Me

  2. #2
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    Ask out her best female friend and forget about her. SHES YOUR FRIEND.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  3. #3
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    Yeah,
    I know,
    Story of my life.

    Thanks Wakeup

  4. #4
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    I would give her more time to heal. Just cuz he was an asshole, it doesn't mean she's gonna get over it really fast. Make sure u really want to sacrifice the friendship. That's a decision no one can make for you. So give her a month or so to get over him if your smart and really think about how u feel. Then start off slowly.. Telling her u have feelings And want to see where they go.

  5. #5
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    Yeah,
    I wasn't thinking of doing it now, I was just going to support her.

    I definitely don't want to jeopardize the friendship, but I also don't want to be 'stuck in the friend-zone'.
    She has previously asked me to cinema etc. when she's stressed
    (she said she doesn't have to try with me, she can relax with me)
    On the Sunday of the breakup she text me an asked me to the cinema, no mention of the breakup.
    Then when we were eating she said that she thought who can she see to make her smile. - thought of me.

    But I just wanna support her,

    Thanks.

  6. #6
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    She needs a friend and a friend you are. There's nothing else you can do at this stage anyway.
    If with time, things progress, great. If not, you both still have each other as friends.
    It's a bummer situation but hey, be thankful she's in your life in the first place. True friends are few and hard to find.

  7. #7
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    [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=woody]#woody[/URL] yeah, you're alll right thanks for confirming my thoughts.

    Thanx

  8. #8
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    I met a Girl We Spend some really great time together for a month.. She was dating this guy for 4 months before and now he is married to some other woman. But she still has feelings for him, and even that guy even tries to keep her heart and doesnt break contact. She has gone crazy in his love and is not ready for any relationships. But somewhere I know She Loves Me. Our Choices. Our Taste. Our Music. Our Birthdate. Our thinking. Everything's same. What Can I do To date her and be her's forever. What Should I do? Im just confused !

  9. #9
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    Yes.... that way if she has any inkling of the same feelings for him, he may crush any chance he has. It's best to give her time, let her heal, be her shoulder to cry on most importantly. If you guys have been so tight for so long, chances are she knows or has some clue a to how you feel, and she may feel the same too. Yes some friendships ed because of declarations of love, but it's often the relationships that bloom from friendship that last longer and hold stronger than most. My boyfriend and I have been friends for 10 years, gone through other things, lost touch and then reconnected. And it's the best relationship I've had.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Whatever you do, DO NOT ask her best female friend out -_-... if she does feel anything at all towards you that wont make her come to you, it'll push her away. Yes, you're her friend, but sometimes thats the best recipe for love. It's best to give her time, let her heal, be her shoulder to cry on..her rock so to speak. If you guys have been so tight for so long, chances are she knows or has some clue a to how you feel, and she may feel the same too. Yes some friendships ed because of declarations of love, but it's often the relationships that bloom from friendship that last longer and hold stronger than most. My boyfriend and I have been friends for 10 years, gone through other things, lost touch and then reconnected. And it's the best relationship I've had. Let her slowly come to you, and if you feel you have to give her a gentle nudge, wait until she's clear-minded and not distraught over her break-up and spend some time with her, not making it completely obvious such as asking her out on a date, but taking her somewhere a little different then what you two would normally do. Take the chance though for the love of god, if you dont you might always wonder about the what-ifs that plague us all the time in life. "it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all". And if she's a great friend, she wont let that get in the way of your friendship once you let her know and she doesnt feel the same.

  10. #10
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    Nah... don't put your own love life on hold for a friend. That's foolish and self-deprecating actions to be taking.

    Instead, to alleviate any doubt... just get it out in the open that you have feelings for her of the romantic kind and if she doesn't have those same type of feelings for you then back off and get yourself over her completely. Don't waste anymore of your good dating years being this chicks male GIRLfriend. You deserve to have a woman in your life that will be both your friend, your partner and your lover and if that happens to be her best friend then so be it.

    She's holding you back from being free in mind and heart from getting that friend/partner/lover so don't be her emotional tampon another second... get your feelings out there in the open and discuss the possibilities of a real relationship and let the chips fall where they may. If you lose the friendship over your confession then think of this: What good is having someone you want more with as a platonic friend just as a platonic friend? She will cause trouble for you in any new romantic relationship you do happen to form because no woman will want you hanging out one on one and being some other woman's shoulder to cry on.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 20-10-14 at 11:26 AM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  11. #11
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    Dude...bad idea...

    Right now, she has stuck you into the friend-zone and their is nothing you can do about it. To emotionally save yourself, better start making yourself less available at her whims. This may sound cold-blooded, but she is using you for her own comfort while you are harboring hopes - very unhealthy. If she needs friends, she should get in touch with her GIRLFRIENDS, not a hapless guy who is praying for a shot to be the "number one pick".
    When she is done with you, you will be further relegated into the darkest region of the friend-zone where all you will be good for is to change a spare tire or a bad bulb. looool

    Better smarten up boy...

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