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Thread: Conflicted on shaving down there. Please help

  1. #1
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    Conflicted on shaving down there. Please help

    I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year and she shaves it bald. Completely. Every day. In my last relationship that lasted over 10 years, she kept it trimmed neat, but never shaved off.

    I have to be honest, I hate it shaved. I've tried to like it, but I just don't. Not even a little bit. In fact, it really turns me off.

    I've talked to my girlfriend about this and she said that she would grow it out for me. That lasted about three days. She said she just can't do it. So I went right on back to trying to like it. And she continues to shave every day and it hasn't come up since.

    It's just not working for me. I don't find it attractive at all. I've already told her how I feel and what I like and she obviously doesn't want to do that. I understand that it's her body and her choice... I don't want to change anyone either, so I'm feeling really conflicted.

    I love her, but I'm finding her less and less attractive because of this. I'm sure many of you will think I'm crazy because shaving is apparently all the rage.

    I feel really shallow but I also feel like I should be with someone who keeps themself in a way that is appealing to me instead of revolting. Should I have another talk with her? This just seems stupid. She obviously doesn't want keep some down there or she would have after we talked about it already.

    I don't want to break up with someone when our only conflict is pubic hair!

    I'm completely serious here... I don't know what to do. It's getting to the point where I feel like I'm starting to resent her for disregarding what I find attractive. Am I shallow and selfish? Is she? What should I do?

  2. #2
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    Honestly, I'd think you are way over-reacting. However you've expressed your displeasure over her shaving down there and she isn't going to change, at least not easily. It's up to you how you deal with it, whether you accept it and her for what she is or break up over it.

    I will tell you this. If she shaves, NEVER EVER SHAVE YOURSELF BALD EITHER. Trust me, will be painful for both of you during sex.

  3. #3
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    I guess if you truly like then you would accept her.

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    Her body her preference, like what you choose to do with your pubic hair. You don't like seeing her shaved when having sex? then have sex in the dark or under the covers where you don't see her shaved areas.

    Or you don't like giving oral because she is shaved? Then your choice not to give her oral and her choice to keep shaving. It's a trade off.
    It's not what you have, it's what you do with what you have that matters.

  5. #5
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    Give her one more chance and tell her that her bald Koozie is a deal breaker for you. If she doesn't at least compromise by keeping hair on top and shaved below then ditch her. You obviously won't miss her that much.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  6. #6
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    I have a friend who told me that his much younger girlfriend the same thing. He said he found shaving disturbing. He said women have pubic hair. And the last bald one he saw was when he changing his daughter's diaper..

  7. #7
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    Well maybe you could find a compromise like she shave every 4 or 5 days.. so sometimes theres nothing but sometimes there is.. this isn't something you should break up over. Some couples have real problems

  8. #8
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    Dude.....stop being such a drama queen over a shaved pussy....jeez!

  9. #9
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    Razor stubble of the pussy doesn't sound very accommodating.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    Razor stubble of the pussy doesn't sound very accommodating.
    Stubble on one person isn't bad, stubble on both equals lots of pain and chaffing

  11. #11
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    Oooook, honey, you need to gain some understanding about women haha. Nowadays, it's "unattractive" to have a full-on bushy, mangled forest "down there" on a woman. Not only that, but we ladies do not like feeling like "Lord of the Jungle" with a big, huge giant fur ball between our legs. To us, we're supposed to be soft to the touch--all over. Our legs, armpits, even our arms if we don't like the amount of hair we have on them. It feels weird to have this fully-soft body and then BAM--huge puff of blackness in our most delicate of delicates haha. It feels unattractive for us, as we're used to being hairless all over. Therefore, your girlfriend, like many other women (including myself) would feel incredibly unattractive with her Tarzan look down there. I know that, personally, I wouldn't be able to focus on sex if I had hair going on down there. Even if it was trimmed. I'd just be so damn distracted by the beard between my legs that I really don't even know if I'd be able to enjoy sex. Even if my boyfriend liked it, I'd still just feel uncomfortable.

    Now, granted, I would certainly save a lot of money on razors and creams if I chose to stop shaving, but for most women, having a bush down there just reminds us of cheesy 70's porn with Ron Jeremy being dirty and yuck.... Just let her shave it, dude. It's not that big of a deal. If she liked sticking dildos up her boyfriend's butt, you wouldn't wanna do that, would you. No. Some people just have to deal with the fact that their partner isn't into the same sexual stuff they are, and you have to compromise some things and just give up a battle you're gonna lose anyway. It's not "shallow", but "selfish"? Yeah, and I'm only saying that because whether you realize it or not, you being dissatisfied with her appearance has planted a seed of insecurity within her. She may not voice it, but us women are. super. ridiculously. sensitive. Just give up this battle, dude. It's hair; not like she has an extra nipple.

  12. #12
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    I wouldn't be able to focus on sex if I had hair going on down there. Even if it was trimmed. I'd just be so damn distracted by the beard between my legs that I really don't even know if I'd be able to enjoy sex.
    You ever have sex with a nicely trimmed pussy?

    The mannequin look isn't as popular as porn makes it out to be. And, no! Not all ladies think the way you do.

    as women
    We are not one giant collective. No offence but some of us don't think like you in the least.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 03-11-14 at 12:59 PM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  13. #13
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    The point is.....it IS a big deal to the OP so no amount of saying he is way OTT about is is going to help. To me its like my man deciding to grow a beard! Apologies to anyone with a beard but they turn me off totally! I just don't fancy snogging a beard! If my man said, tough its what I want I would wonder if he didn't WANT me to kiss him lol! OR another scenario, if a partner didn't like using deodorant because of the theory that natural smells attract! Attract who, the dog? they don't attract me anyway......
    To me its about consideration and compromise. IF, you didn't like an outfit she was wearing, would she wear it anyway? Most people try to please. On the other hand maybe SHE has deep rooted obsession that she can't rid herself of and feels she isn't clean or something with a bush?

  14. #14
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    You've got to let her do what she wants, man. You can't expect her to make decisions like that based on what YOU find attractive. That goes beyond body hair, it involves any sort of modification to her look or body. For example my most recent ex has a lot of tattoos and piercings. I love tats and piercings on a woman, but she has a few that I think are kind of silly. But I always told her before she got a new one, do what you want, it's your body. If it's really that revolting to you, then you have to make a decision whether it's a deal breaker for you or whether you can learn to live with it. Does it outweigh her other qualities? The other things you DO find attractive about her? If so, then maybe it is time to move on. And it's not a stupid thing to break up over if it's bothering you that much. It might sound stupid, she might even tell you it's stupid, but believe me, it's the little things like that that build up over time and build resentment. You don't wan that.

  15. #15
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    And here I'm thinking I would die and go heaven if my wife shaved!

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