What to do?

[Calvin92]

I am 22 I have a 3 year old son with a girl I met when I was 17, we were together and happy until she was pregnant. Things started to fall apart there was no trust, we were young and a relationship wasn't working. We decided it was it was best to split but keep contact for the baby. We did all parts of the pregnancy together the months went on and finally we were both parents to a beautiful boy. After four months of seeing my child everyday and still not being back with her i decided to meet up with someone. After I told her she hit the roof and stopped contact. 3 years past no contact, after a lot of processes and desperate attempts to see my boy. I Finally got through to her we talked and decided to start contact again, I've had a few months if contact since. The problem I'm having is after everything that's happened I am falling for her again, I need to know if it would be a bad idea to tell her? Please help

[montanamommy]

Falling for someone who would take your son away from you is--no offense--foolish. Part of me thinks that you feel as though you are falling back in love with her because of your desperation to see your son. I went through a similar situation in which my ex-husband hid our daughter from me for an extended period of time, and the fact that he would do that to not only me, but her, caused me to build a mistrust in him that will never fade.

I think you need to look really hard at what her actions say about her. What kind of person would prevent a parent from seeing their own child, unless that parent was abusive, a drug user, alcoholic, P.O.S., etc; which you do not seem to be (although I may be way off). If you never abused her or the baby, never did drugs, drank hard, etc. then what she did is nothing short of maniacal.

You need to also understand that you have 50/50 rights to the child as biological parents of him. Is your name on the birth certificate? If so, you have EVERY much right to the child as she does; and you might want to look into parental kidnapping laws in your state to find out if what she has done is illegal. In Washington, what she did would be considered Class A, Class B, and Class C felony kidnapping. So look into your state's laws. Find a lawyer--even a pro bono one---who can AT LEAST give you advice.

As far as falling in love with this woman? Let that one go. She has proven that she is not afraid to only break your heart into a million pieces, but that she is not a good parent either in that she would tear her son away from his father.

Sincerely, good luck in this. It sounds heart-wrenching.